Thursday, March 13, 2008
Helping the alcoholic by not helping!
Boundaries are important. It’s your right as a parent to enforce house rules. If you choose to have an alcohol free home and your child decides to drink, it is okay to tell the child to find another place to sleep. Handing the child a sleeping bag and pillow with directions to the local lounge chair by the pool is acceptable. At first you might cry yourself to sleep, but over time you will experience a freedom like never before. Why should you stay up all night wondering what the alcoholic is doing downstairs? Who’s to say they aren’t going to drink themselves into a blackout, leave a cigarette burning on the sofa, and burn down your house. Too many well meaning parents suffer daily from a child’s drinking because they were afraid to upset their child. Guilt must become a four letter word. As a parent no matter how responsible you might feel for your child’s drinking, it is not your fault. You are not to blame and you are not responsible for getting them sober. Your only responsibility is taking care of yourself. Think about it, you’ve spent years ranting and raving, crying and grieving but to no avail. Not one bit of your pity party made a dent in your child’s drinking so why not try another approach. You won’t be labeled a bad parent turning the focus from the child onto yourself. In fact, overtime, it could be the best parenting decision you’ll ever make. Here is a list of don’ts: don’t nag. Don’t pour alcohol down the drain, it is a waste of money and the alcoholic will only find a way of getting more. Don’t provoke the alcoholic to anger. Alcoholics love to drink their anger away. Don’t do for the alcoholic what the alcoholic should do. Taking care of another’s responsibilities only sets up a bad habit of allowing the alcoholic to permanently neglect personal responsibilities. Alcoholics are liars whether they mean to be or not. Believing their promises is futile. It’s a good idea not to. If you do threaten or set a boundary, stick to it. Here is a list of dos: if you want to help your alcoholic child, focus on yourself. Learn all you can about alcoholism. Stay in an attitude of love and compassion but remember you must also discipline. When engaged in conversations with the alcoholic keep it simple. Talk about the weather or let the alcoholic lead the conversation. Start developing a safe relationship with the child. An alcoholic is much more willing to approach a parent who isn’t going to attack. Children crave protection no matter how old they are. Be a safe haven for your child. And learn acceptance. The easiest route to freedom is accepting other people exactly the way they are. By accepting them you quit trying to change them. It doesn’t mean you have to suffer abuse. Remember those boundaries. And remember to pray. No one is capable of coping with everything life has to offer alone. Without God’s help we fail before we ever begin. Start by thanking Him that you’ve been spared this debilitating disease alcoholics suffer with daily. You too could be just as downtrodden as your child. No one is better than anyone else in God’s eyes. We are all equal. Ask God each day what you can do for your child or better yet what He can do for your child if you get out of His way. The more you turn your child over to God, trusting that He is able to take care of him, the easier it gets. Practice makes perfect. The first step is to believe. Trust that there is a God who can heal your child and restore you to sanity. And remember, you are not Him. You are not God and He doesn’t need your help. God knows what your child needs better than you do. Daily give your child over to the care of God and go take a walk, read a good book or eat a hot fudge sundae. God is in control and He loves your child more than you do. Picture your child resting in the palm of God’s hands and leave him there.Occasionally it hurts. Some days it hurts badly. You might even cry. Go ahead. Then take a deep breath, put on Pavarotti, and let it go. Never give up hope, without hope we would die, just remember life happens in God’s time. And He always knows best.
Enabling. Just prolonging the agony.
One of the most difficult situations a parent faces is when a child suffers from alcoholism. Of all the dreams parents have for their children, chances are alcoholism isn’t one of them. Only a mother understands the pain she feels watching a child die inside. And even worse are the feelings of helplessness. Sadly we learn there is nothing we can do to get our child to quit drinking before they are ready.Alcoholism is a progressive disease. It gets worse never better. Once the disease has been established there is no turning back. Alcoholics try different methods in an attempt to control their drinking; they drink only beer or only wine. They try drinking only in the evenings or on weekends. They go to any length to control their drinking to avoid giving it up entirely. Alcoholics are convinced they cannot live without the alcohol. They are addicted; they are dependent. An alcoholic deprived of alcohol can seizure or in some cases die. Watching a child suffer this way is more than a parent can handle without help. But thank God there is help. The first step is realizing the alcoholic has a disease. The American Medical Association recognizes alcoholism as a disease that can never be cured. The drinking starts out as a crutch, an escape from life’s problems, but over time becomes a dependence that controls and destroys. It helps to treat the alcoholic as you would a friend who has cancer. Compassion, not anger, reaps huge rewards. Unfortunately the alcoholic lives in denial. Alcoholics have difficulty admitting defeat. The first step for the alcoholic is realization of the problem and a willingness to get help. Unfortunately for the family only the alcoholic can make the decision. It is possible for family and friends to delay recovery by persistently trying to get the alcoholic sober sooner than they are willing. Many well meaning parents have prolonged the drinking due to excessive nagging, blaming and scolding. Vicious cycles are created out of love and fear. A mother cries and begs her son to quit drinking. Instead of quitting he drinks more from the guilt he feels over his mother’s obvious disappointment. Alcoholics love excuses. Give an alcoholic an excuse to drink and watch him drink. Not because he wants to, but because he has to. The next step is to admit that you are powerless over your child’s drinking, just as the alcoholic is powerless over the alcohol. Once you determine there is nothing you can do, you will be better off. It sounds harsh to say you’ll find happiness by refusing to help your child, but by refusing to help your child you are actually helping him more. We all have a God given path we must walk. By refusing to allow your child to walk on his path you are interfering in God’s plan. Children must learn to suffer the consequences of their own behavior. If parents are pouring liquor down drains, bailing kids out of jail, paying expensive fines and covering up, the child isn’t forced to suffer any consequences, therefore not learning from the mistakes he makes. These behaviors will continue until you as a parent step back and put the reigns back into your child’s hands.
Book Review: Addiction: A Personal Story
Guest CommentaryADDICTION: A Personal Story--Offers Rich Resource ToolBy Rev. Austin Mileswww.MichNews.com Nov 6, 2006
It is not just the 'unsaved' that becomes ensnared. All families are vulnerable. The scourge of addiction has intruded into families one would least expect to be affected by the drug and alcohol problem. And this includes some prominent Christian families and even some church leaders. We have all been made aware of the failure of a high-profile pastor who apparently struggled with both drug and sexual addiction.
The best counseling you can receive is from those who have been in a situation similar to yours, managed to get through it, and [even] though damaged by the experience, landed on their feet and reclaimed their lives.
Addiction: A Personal Story, commendably written by Lacy Enderson who lived the horror of addiction and eventually conquered it, gives us a full account of an extremely difficult and painful journey. But this work shows that no matter how tough it is you can overcome, as has been proven by the author who would have been labeled as a "worst case scenario."
She details her fears, struggles, uncontrolled anger, destructive rage, doubts and humiliations along with the enormous guilt feelings that come from the addiction that controlled her life.
Then there were the sometimes brutal body reactions (as it craves more and more), that demands surrender.
The author describes in lurid detail the degrading episodes that shamed her and caused so much pain not only for herself but her loved ones as well. It cost her two husbands who finally reached a breaking point due to her drunken behavior and walked out.
Since her recovery she has been happily re-married for more than nine years. Her husband, Richard, is a recovered addict and they both have learned the principles of a good marriage.
Written as a daily devotional, each page leads off with a Scripture verse that was thoughtfully and carefully selected. Then there is a portion of the author's life...the dumb things she did while under the influence, details of who she talked to, what encouraged her, how her cravings overtook her and what she was thinking.
Each page contains a "Thought to Meditate On." These thoughts, which are a wrap-up of each episode described, are very powerful and will sometimes jolt the reader.
Under that is a space with the heading, "Thoughts and Revelations," which gives the readers a place to write down what they are thinking as they read the page.
Never has any devotional work gripped this reviewer like Addiction: A Personal Story. Each page gives bits and snippets of the author's life, which becomes more and more intriguing and compelling. You want to know what is coming next.
Indeed, I defy any reader to simply read the page for the day and put the book down until the next day. The reader will be drawn to read further and further as the story of Lacy Enderson unfolds.
She takes you on the whole journey, disturbing as it is, but one that does end in victory after her desperate determination overruled her demanding cravings. And that includes cigarettes among the addictions she had to conquer.
Sometimes the author is so candid and honest about her life, with such personal revelations, that you hesitate to read further feeling that you may be intruding upon her privacy.
There are times the reader will even feel a little uncomfortable. She wants you to know it all; how the alcoholic justifies drinking, the deceptions that become a part of the addict's life…how she learned to manipulate and control others, and of course, the excuses that she had down pat. She is very frank about her failures, the disgraces she experienced and how she fought her way back. In so doing she offers hope to the hopeless.
Every emotion...every challenge the addict experiences is covered. There is no ducking any of it. This book will be an eye-opener for every addict who reads it. And they will read it if someone who cares provides a copy. It is a mirror of the life every addict lives. The Forward by Trisha Lee tells how to read and benefit from this book.
After an Introduction, the author tells how she used any excuse she could think of in order to justify her drinking, such as, "Even Jesus drank wine." Then she follows that up with almost three pages of Scriptures to show how the Lord feels about alcoholism, and urges that they be read, "on days when you try to convince yourself that one drink couldn't possibly hurt."
It is to be noted that a big role in her success was the encouragement of some of her friends.
And the reader who has a loved one going through the ordeal is encouraged to never give up on the one they care about. Often it takes several attempts over time to kick the habit.
As the author states in [one] 'Thought To Meditate On (pg.68),' " The worst thing you can do is give up on them. With each failed attempt they move one step closer to victory. Don't give up before the miracle happens."
And to cheer on the addict to be victorious, she writes this in, Thought To Meditate On, (pg. 9): " When we finally make the decision to quit drinking, God intervenes and breaks those chains of bondage to alcohol that hold us captive. He picks us up out of the dungeon of despair and puts us in a Royal Palace He created just for us. He called us to be priests and kings. Let us desire to live like one."
This very easy-to-read book is helpful in spotting warning signs of an addict or an about-to-be addict. This rich resource allows counselors to get into the head of the addicted which is essential for effective counseling. Especially concerning the addicted.
The book, put together by Bennett Deane Publishing, a new company in Simi Valley, California, is well produced with an excellent cover design, which shows a barren tree on a hill with dark forbidding clouds overhead with the ground under the tree dark. It is an attention-getter that will stand out on a bookshelf. The book can be ordered on Amazon.com.
As I read this book, I thought of the author, Ernest Hemingway who was also known for his uncontrolled binge drinking. He once said that there is one thing more that he would have liked to be able to do. And that was to go through life again.….sober. He knew he had missed a lot..
Had Addiction-A Personal Story been available in his time, perhaps Hemingway would have been able to experience at least a sober second half of his life.
Copyright by Rev. Austin Miles
------------------------------Rev. Austin Miles is a chaplain and counselor who has worked with drug addicts in New York City, and worked closely with famed social psychologist Kenneth Clark in the Juvenile Decency Program founded by noted comedian, Joey Adams.
It is not just the 'unsaved' that becomes ensnared. All families are vulnerable. The scourge of addiction has intruded into families one would least expect to be affected by the drug and alcohol problem. And this includes some prominent Christian families and even some church leaders. We have all been made aware of the failure of a high-profile pastor who apparently struggled with both drug and sexual addiction.
The best counseling you can receive is from those who have been in a situation similar to yours, managed to get through it, and [even] though damaged by the experience, landed on their feet and reclaimed their lives.
Addiction: A Personal Story, commendably written by Lacy Enderson who lived the horror of addiction and eventually conquered it, gives us a full account of an extremely difficult and painful journey. But this work shows that no matter how tough it is you can overcome, as has been proven by the author who would have been labeled as a "worst case scenario."
She details her fears, struggles, uncontrolled anger, destructive rage, doubts and humiliations along with the enormous guilt feelings that come from the addiction that controlled her life.
Then there were the sometimes brutal body reactions (as it craves more and more), that demands surrender.
The author describes in lurid detail the degrading episodes that shamed her and caused so much pain not only for herself but her loved ones as well. It cost her two husbands who finally reached a breaking point due to her drunken behavior and walked out.
Since her recovery she has been happily re-married for more than nine years. Her husband, Richard, is a recovered addict and they both have learned the principles of a good marriage.
Written as a daily devotional, each page leads off with a Scripture verse that was thoughtfully and carefully selected. Then there is a portion of the author's life...the dumb things she did while under the influence, details of who she talked to, what encouraged her, how her cravings overtook her and what she was thinking.
Each page contains a "Thought to Meditate On." These thoughts, which are a wrap-up of each episode described, are very powerful and will sometimes jolt the reader.
Under that is a space with the heading, "Thoughts and Revelations," which gives the readers a place to write down what they are thinking as they read the page.
Never has any devotional work gripped this reviewer like Addiction: A Personal Story. Each page gives bits and snippets of the author's life, which becomes more and more intriguing and compelling. You want to know what is coming next.
Indeed, I defy any reader to simply read the page for the day and put the book down until the next day. The reader will be drawn to read further and further as the story of Lacy Enderson unfolds.
She takes you on the whole journey, disturbing as it is, but one that does end in victory after her desperate determination overruled her demanding cravings. And that includes cigarettes among the addictions she had to conquer.
Sometimes the author is so candid and honest about her life, with such personal revelations, that you hesitate to read further feeling that you may be intruding upon her privacy.
There are times the reader will even feel a little uncomfortable. She wants you to know it all; how the alcoholic justifies drinking, the deceptions that become a part of the addict's life…how she learned to manipulate and control others, and of course, the excuses that she had down pat. She is very frank about her failures, the disgraces she experienced and how she fought her way back. In so doing she offers hope to the hopeless.
Every emotion...every challenge the addict experiences is covered. There is no ducking any of it. This book will be an eye-opener for every addict who reads it. And they will read it if someone who cares provides a copy. It is a mirror of the life every addict lives. The Forward by Trisha Lee tells how to read and benefit from this book.
After an Introduction, the author tells how she used any excuse she could think of in order to justify her drinking, such as, "Even Jesus drank wine." Then she follows that up with almost three pages of Scriptures to show how the Lord feels about alcoholism, and urges that they be read, "on days when you try to convince yourself that one drink couldn't possibly hurt."
It is to be noted that a big role in her success was the encouragement of some of her friends.
And the reader who has a loved one going through the ordeal is encouraged to never give up on the one they care about. Often it takes several attempts over time to kick the habit.
As the author states in [one] 'Thought To Meditate On (pg.68),' " The worst thing you can do is give up on them. With each failed attempt they move one step closer to victory. Don't give up before the miracle happens."
And to cheer on the addict to be victorious, she writes this in, Thought To Meditate On, (pg. 9): " When we finally make the decision to quit drinking, God intervenes and breaks those chains of bondage to alcohol that hold us captive. He picks us up out of the dungeon of despair and puts us in a Royal Palace He created just for us. He called us to be priests and kings. Let us desire to live like one."
This very easy-to-read book is helpful in spotting warning signs of an addict or an about-to-be addict. This rich resource allows counselors to get into the head of the addicted which is essential for effective counseling. Especially concerning the addicted.
The book, put together by Bennett Deane Publishing, a new company in Simi Valley, California, is well produced with an excellent cover design, which shows a barren tree on a hill with dark forbidding clouds overhead with the ground under the tree dark. It is an attention-getter that will stand out on a bookshelf. The book can be ordered on Amazon.com.
As I read this book, I thought of the author, Ernest Hemingway who was also known for his uncontrolled binge drinking. He once said that there is one thing more that he would have liked to be able to do. And that was to go through life again.….sober. He knew he had missed a lot..
Had Addiction-A Personal Story been available in his time, perhaps Hemingway would have been able to experience at least a sober second half of his life.
Copyright by Rev. Austin Miles
------------------------------Rev. Austin Miles is a chaplain and counselor who has worked with drug addicts in New York City, and worked closely with famed social psychologist Kenneth Clark in the Juvenile Decency Program founded by noted comedian, Joey Adams.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Passion
Passion: an object of desire or deep interest, an intense emotion, deeply stirring within. Passion is a feeling so profound that one must run to it. Affection so intimate one must submit. (Webster's Dictionary)
A world turned upside down trying to discover the true heat of passion, the inner desire that can only satisfy the deepest craving. No person, place, or thing will ever quantify such a strong desire, but one must search for it, never giving up. Eventually the object of desire manifests and all is well.
Never to have what one longs for is the ultimate death, a spiritual death. Physically one is fine, only wishing to pass from here to the other side in hopes of finding that one true connection, the strongest point of reality.
Too often we settle for less. We give up on our dreams. We lie down and die never having tasted to see how sweet it is, and why? When there is so much hope and potential around us, we stop just short of our ultimate purpose. A passion for life that satisfies every inner longing is available to all yet so few ever find it. Not because it isn't there, but because we don't trust.
Passions are God given motivators. God puts inside of us our ultimate desire. He wouldn't dare to have us dream an unattainable goal. If God gives you a desire, go for it. Go all the way. Go back to school, go back and start over. Go back where you left off. But go back.
My mom finds passion in her grand-children. My dad finds passion in his coin collection. My son finds passion is his remote control race car. My daughter finds passion in her friends. Passion encourages, exhumes enthusiasm, and ushers in inner joy. Why settle for less than the one person, place or thing that offers all?
Endure to the end, it's never too late. Endure to the end with courage and drive. Endure to the end and God will unlock those secret spiritual treasures all wrapped up in passion, those treasures which are hidden from those who don't endure to the end.
There is one special place within all of us. That place resides within the deepest part of our heart. Don't we owe it to ourselves to discover who we are? To find out what truly moves us, to unlock the door to our greatest joy? No one should live without passion. No one should deprive themselves the depth of Gods love.
Passion: an object of desire or deep interest, an intense emotion, deeply stirring within. Passion is a feeling so profound that one must run to it. Affection so intimate one must submit.
A world turned upside down trying to discover the true heat of passion, the inner desire that can only satisfy the deepest craving. No person, place, or thing will ever quantify such a strong desire, but one must search for it, never giving up. Eventually the object of desire manifests and all is well.
Never to have what one longs for is the ultimate death, a spiritual death. Physically one is fine, only wishing to pass from here to the other side in hopes of finding that one true connection, the strongest point of reality.
Too often we settle for less. We give up on our dreams. We lie down and die never having tasted to see how sweet it is, and why? When there is so much hope and potential around us, we stop just short of our ultimate purpose. A passion for life that satisfies every inner longing is available to all yet so few ever find it. Not because it isn't there, but because we don't trust.
Passions are God given motivators. God puts inside of us our ultimate desire. He wouldn't dare to have us dream an unattainable goal. If God gives you a desire, go for it. Go all the way. Go back to school, go back and start over. Go back where you left off. But go back.
My mom finds passion in her grand-children. My dad finds passion in his coin collection. My son finds passion is his remote control race car. My daughter finds passion in her friends. Passion encourages, exhumes enthusiasm, and ushers in inner joy. Why settle for less than the one person, place or thing that offers all?
Endure to the end, it's never too late. Endure to the end with courage and drive. Endure to the end and God will unlock those secret spiritual treasures all wrapped up in passion, those treasures which are hidden from those who don't endure to the end.
There is one special place within all of us. That place resides within the deepest part of our heart. Don't we owe it to ourselves to discover who we are? To find out what truly moves us, to unlock the door to our greatest joy? No one should live without passion. No one should deprive themselves the depth of Gods love.
Passion: an object of desire or deep interest, an intense emotion, deeply stirring within. Passion is a feeling so profound that one must run to it. Affection so intimate one must submit.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Disturbing thoughts or images are called obsessions. The rituals or actions associated with the obsessions are called compulsions. People who suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder do not necessarily gain pleasure from their performances, only a temporary relief. Each ritual needs to be performed over and over again thus never allowing complete satisfaction.
OCD is best described by a group or series of rituals that must be performed. These thoughts are uncontrollable. A person who suffers has lost their power of choice. They cannot control the thoughts and they must perform the routine. The urgent need to carry out certain tasks is overwhelming and very life hindering.
Tracey was a hand washer. She was constantly washing her hands. And she had a hand washing ritual. She would put soap in her hands, rub them around, and rinse the soap. She would do this three times for each hand washing ritual. And her hands had to be washed if she touched anything she felt was unsanitary. Tracey carried around a can of Lysol and a rag and wiped everything in her house she touched. This was an all day, ongoing routine. Needless to say, Tracey's hands were red and raw.
Not only are there hand washers, there are those who constantly check things like the electrical appliances to see if they've been turned off, the locks on the doors to see if the doors are locked. People touch things and count. Some people avoid walking on the cracks in sidewalks. Some people clean their whole house everyday or maybe it's just sweeping the floor every hour. Whatever it is, it is a bondage that must be broken.
The majority of people can relate in some way to OCD behaviors. Maybe the pillows have to be in the right place on the couch or the remote in a straight line with the TV guide on the end table, but for those who suffer severe symptoms of the disorder have far more debilitating symptoms. Hours each day are consumed with distressing and interfering thoughts and behaviors.
Most adults who suffer from OCD recognize that their disease is senseless. Children however don't always relate their behaviors to a disease.
OCD effects about 3.3 million adult Americans. It is just as prevalent in men as in women and it attacks people of all ages. Most adults recognize symptoms beginning in childhood. In some cases symptoms get better with age, but not always. Sometimes symptoms increase or ease up depending on life events.
Along with OCD the patient can suffer with depression, other anxiety disorders and eating disorders. Whatever the severity, OCD can be a great hindrance to life and must be treated.
OCD is best described by a group or series of rituals that must be performed. These thoughts are uncontrollable. A person who suffers has lost their power of choice. They cannot control the thoughts and they must perform the routine. The urgent need to carry out certain tasks is overwhelming and very life hindering.
Tracey was a hand washer. She was constantly washing her hands. And she had a hand washing ritual. She would put soap in her hands, rub them around, and rinse the soap. She would do this three times for each hand washing ritual. And her hands had to be washed if she touched anything she felt was unsanitary. Tracey carried around a can of Lysol and a rag and wiped everything in her house she touched. This was an all day, ongoing routine. Needless to say, Tracey's hands were red and raw.
Not only are there hand washers, there are those who constantly check things like the electrical appliances to see if they've been turned off, the locks on the doors to see if the doors are locked. People touch things and count. Some people avoid walking on the cracks in sidewalks. Some people clean their whole house everyday or maybe it's just sweeping the floor every hour. Whatever it is, it is a bondage that must be broken.
The majority of people can relate in some way to OCD behaviors. Maybe the pillows have to be in the right place on the couch or the remote in a straight line with the TV guide on the end table, but for those who suffer severe symptoms of the disorder have far more debilitating symptoms. Hours each day are consumed with distressing and interfering thoughts and behaviors.
Most adults who suffer from OCD recognize that their disease is senseless. Children however don't always relate their behaviors to a disease.
OCD effects about 3.3 million adult Americans. It is just as prevalent in men as in women and it attacks people of all ages. Most adults recognize symptoms beginning in childhood. In some cases symptoms get better with age, but not always. Sometimes symptoms increase or ease up depending on life events.
Along with OCD the patient can suffer with depression, other anxiety disorders and eating disorders. Whatever the severity, OCD can be a great hindrance to life and must be treated.
Social Phobia or Social Anxiety Disorder
A social anxiety disorder, or social phobia, can inhibit a person's life tremendously by causing extreme fear and anxiety in normal social settings. These irrational fears can start days or weeks in advance as the person who suffers gets closer and closer to the social event. Social anxiety disorder is a real concern. For those who suffer, help is detrimental to achieving the ability to live a normal life.
Social anxiety disorder effects about 5.3 million adult Americans. Both men and women equally suffer. The disorder usually begins in childhood. There are cases where one who suffers at a young age does overcome some of the fear by adulthood, but not usually all of the fear. The disease can get worse depending upon the person and their lifestyle. For those who hide out in their home, recovery is slow. For those who set out to pursue social situations in spite of the fear, recovery comes quicker. In any case, social phobia is life hindering and must be treated.
Many people who suffer from a social disorder also suffer from other anxiety disorders, including depression. Those who suffer can also suffer from drug and alcohol abuse. Self medicating helps the phobic deal with social situations better, unfortunately, drugs and alcohol is not the answer. Putting a bandaide on the splinter will only aggravate the situation.
People with social anxiety are overly self conscious. They fear being watched and judged by others. Most social phobics are afraid of embarrassing themselves in front of others so they resist doing or saying anything in public. Unfortunately a social phobic suffers from to much self focus but this is just an underlying symptom of a much deeper problem.
A social anxiety disorder causes persistent, intense, and chronic fear in social situations. And even though the social phobic realizes their fears are irrational, they can't do anything to escape the anxiety.
Some social phobias are centered around only one event such as speaking in front of a class or walking in late to a meeting. Some people cannot force themselves to get up to use a bathroom or get a drink for fear people will be watching them. Most of the fear starts in the mind as one obsesses on the thought of what might happen. Of course most of the things feared never take place.
People who suffer from social phobias can also suffer physical symptoms. These can include; blushing, profuse sweating, trembling, nausea, and difficulty talking. For those who suffer, friendships are near impossible, going to school or work is difficult, sometimes impossible. Fear of being around other people causes the social phobic isolation and loneliness.
It's hard for an extrovert to understand a social phobic, but it is important to accept and try to understand that people are different. We are not all the same. For that reason we must learn to care for and help anyone who suffers no matter how ridiculous or irrational the fear might seem.
Social anxiety disorder effects about 5.3 million adult Americans. Both men and women equally suffer. The disorder usually begins in childhood. There are cases where one who suffers at a young age does overcome some of the fear by adulthood, but not usually all of the fear. The disease can get worse depending upon the person and their lifestyle. For those who hide out in their home, recovery is slow. For those who set out to pursue social situations in spite of the fear, recovery comes quicker. In any case, social phobia is life hindering and must be treated.
Many people who suffer from a social disorder also suffer from other anxiety disorders, including depression. Those who suffer can also suffer from drug and alcohol abuse. Self medicating helps the phobic deal with social situations better, unfortunately, drugs and alcohol is not the answer. Putting a bandaide on the splinter will only aggravate the situation.
People with social anxiety are overly self conscious. They fear being watched and judged by others. Most social phobics are afraid of embarrassing themselves in front of others so they resist doing or saying anything in public. Unfortunately a social phobic suffers from to much self focus but this is just an underlying symptom of a much deeper problem.
A social anxiety disorder causes persistent, intense, and chronic fear in social situations. And even though the social phobic realizes their fears are irrational, they can't do anything to escape the anxiety.
Some social phobias are centered around only one event such as speaking in front of a class or walking in late to a meeting. Some people cannot force themselves to get up to use a bathroom or get a drink for fear people will be watching them. Most of the fear starts in the mind as one obsesses on the thought of what might happen. Of course most of the things feared never take place.
People who suffer from social phobias can also suffer physical symptoms. These can include; blushing, profuse sweating, trembling, nausea, and difficulty talking. For those who suffer, friendships are near impossible, going to school or work is difficult, sometimes impossible. Fear of being around other people causes the social phobic isolation and loneliness.
It's hard for an extrovert to understand a social phobic, but it is important to accept and try to understand that people are different. We are not all the same. For that reason we must learn to care for and help anyone who suffers no matter how ridiculous or irrational the fear might seem.
Everyday, unpredictable?
There are so many changes taking place all the time it's hard to keep up with them all. Just when life seems to be going along smoothly in an acceptable way, something happens to throw everything off kilter. But that isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes change is good. Like for instance, entering a cash contest and winning a lot of money. Who says money can't bring happiness. If the money buys me that home I've waited a long time for then it is a great thing to win. Or maybe my loved one actually stops drinking. And not only does he quit, he stays quit. That is a change of life like none other. Of course relapse is possible but we don't dwell on the negative. We stay grounded in the positive and we stay focused on the good. Only then do we really experience peace. So many changes, but what a great day!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Ever lived with a practicing alcoholic?
My son is a practicing alcoholic. He drinks more than anyone I know. If he does not have a drink every four to five hours, he has seizures. Sometimes he has seizures in his sleep. I have seen him seizure and it is very frightening. It happened quickly with no warning, other than a far off stare. He started yelling out and his body grew stiff. He turned blue and started foaming at the mouth. This went on for about two minutes while I screamed, "Just keep breathing." It was a very traumatic experience. Another symptom of alcohol withdrawal is high blood pressure. My son called the paramedics on himself the other day because he wasn't feeling well. When they took his blood pressure, it was 170/110. They did not know how he wasn't dead. I would like to put my son in a detox but strange enough there isn't one. The cheapest detox center I found was 100.00 a day. He has Med-cal but no one will take it. It is frustrating to have a son who is dying and there isn't anything I can do. Hopefully a miracle will happen soon. I would hate to lose my son. He is only 26.
Spring is in the air!
It is a beautiful day outside, finally. The weather was cold for so long I thought it would never warm up. I have the type of body that has no tolerance for cold and my bones feel like they are literally freezing. Poor me, poor me. I guess I should be thanking my lucky stars I don't live where it snows.
On the other hand, warm weather brings grasshoppers. I have no worries of those pesky creatures when the thermostat is headed downwards. I guess I have to weigh the two evils. Do I like the cold or the grasshoppers? That's an easy one; where's my jacket!
On the other hand, warm weather brings grasshoppers. I have no worries of those pesky creatures when the thermostat is headed downwards. I guess I have to weigh the two evils. Do I like the cold or the grasshoppers? That's an easy one; where's my jacket!
Sunday, April 15, 2007
It's all in a daze work!
I was sitting here a few minutes ago looking at old baseball cards and looking up the prices in a price guide thinking there has to be a better way to make money. You see I sell on eBay for other people and although I enjoy it very much sometimes I get items that have no real value and nothing I do is going to make these items sell for more than they are worth. When an older baseball card, 1958 to 1960, is selling for $2.00 in Mint condition and a great name like Roger Clemens is only .18 cents it gets very discouraging. What I really want to do is find a publisher who will not only publish my addiction book I've already written and self published but also contract me to write another book; maybe a Christian romance novel. Now, that would be a welcome challenge. But I want it to be like Jack Nicholson in 'As Good As It Gets' where I actually have such a great talent they are paying me to sit at home and write. Some of my favorite movies of all time have been about authors who write for a living. I was never aware of the reason they were always my favorites until I developed this inner desire to write. I guess I was born with the innate desire in me. You know the saying, I was born with a pencil in my hand and an idea in my mind! Anyway, it's been awhile since I've posted and I wanted to jump back in and say hi. Any publishers out there who'd like to add me to their best author list and publish my book(s) traditional only no subsidy (been there done that) send me a note. I'd be more than happy to reply. Have a great day.
http://www.personaladdiction.com
http://www.personaladdiction.com
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Peer Pressure; A Blessing In Disguise?
I suffered terribly from peer pressure when I was a teenager. My brother had a group of friends and I wanted them to include me in their plans so I did what they did. I admit I was hyperactive and it was hard for me to calm down, but didn't that mean I was fun? They just called me squirrelly and told me to go away. The kids in his group were heavy pot smokers. They spent their lunch money on marijuana they bought from students selling it right on the school campus. Just to fit in I began buying it too. I went to the swap meet with a friend and bought a marijuana pipe and a baby bong. I was set. I had everything I thought I needed to fit in with the so called in crowd. The group was going to an Aerosmith concert and I talked my brother into allowing me to go with them. When we got there I sat down and took out my stash. I was so proud. I was going to share my weed with my new friends, and let them use my baby bong. I knew that would get me accepted. But before I knew it, I was wasted badly. And this was not fun. I had to hide in the bathroom because I was afraid the security guards were going to take me to jail. I did not function well on marijuana and this time was the worst. I tried to be cool. But everyone laughed at me. In fact they continued laughing at me for weeks. Any developed relationships with this crowd ended abruptly. I guess I didn't fit in as well as I had hoped and I was devastated. It took a while for me to develop my own identity. I wanted to be like everyone else because I didn't much like being myself. Behaving like popular people made me feel important. But today, after many years of self help, it's OK to be me. God instilled in me qualities unlike anyone else’s, and I have grown to find importance in exactly who He made me to be. Looking back to that time in my life and those people, God only knows what I ever saw in them. But I wouldn’t change that time in my life for anything. Those experiences are the reason my life is so good today.
It wasn't that I thought people were better than me; I wanted them to like me. I was friendly, I was helpful, and I would do anything for anyone to get them to accept me. Today I have come to realize God didn't want me hanging out with that group of people. I couldn't get accepted by them no matter how hard I tried because God didn't want them to accept me. It took me years to figure that out.
It is in the difficult times of my life that I have grown the most. Looking back at school days and my insecurities has helped create the high level of personal security I have today. And the teenagers I am able to help by telling my story has been the most rewarding of all. I am not proud of many things I’ve done and lives have been negatively affected by my behavior but the people I am helping today because of my mistakes far surpasses any guilt I would carry. The impact of my failure will indirectly cause the success of others. That makes every bad choice I have ever made, worth it.
Read more great stories in my book Addiction: A Personal story
http://www.lacysjourney.com
It wasn't that I thought people were better than me; I wanted them to like me. I was friendly, I was helpful, and I would do anything for anyone to get them to accept me. Today I have come to realize God didn't want me hanging out with that group of people. I couldn't get accepted by them no matter how hard I tried because God didn't want them to accept me. It took me years to figure that out.
It is in the difficult times of my life that I have grown the most. Looking back at school days and my insecurities has helped create the high level of personal security I have today. And the teenagers I am able to help by telling my story has been the most rewarding of all. I am not proud of many things I’ve done and lives have been negatively affected by my behavior but the people I am helping today because of my mistakes far surpasses any guilt I would carry. The impact of my failure will indirectly cause the success of others. That makes every bad choice I have ever made, worth it.
Read more great stories in my book Addiction: A Personal story
http://www.lacysjourney.com
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Love Builds Up~Never Tears Down
Ephesians 4:29,31,32 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
It would be nice if we could move forward in our journey without lugging around all the baggage from our past. But sometimes the baggage is attached to the people we love. We handed it to them in a fit of rage. We tied it to their wrists during an alcoholic binge. We slung it upon their backs with mean and nasty words. My son Shaun is carrying some of that baggage. Shaun was a very busy child. He was stubborn and always getting into trouble. He was eventually diagnosed with ADHD but that was before we knew much about it. There was a time in my life when I had trouble saying anything nice. I was filled with self hatred and anger. I woke up each morning in a bad mood. I hated my life and resented Shaun for making my life miserable. I nicknamed him “Little Shit.” And he lived up to his new title. The more I yelled the more defiant Shaun became. So I yelled more. This went on until he was four. By this time he was having problems in preschool, was acting aggressively with other children and was lighting fires in the backyard. My pediatrician recommended a family counselor for Shaun. So I made an appointment and the two of us went. By the grace of God a therapist showed me my part in his unruly behavior and I made changes. I quit calling him names and I stopped yelling at him. Today Shaun is a great kid. He is highly intelligent, even tempered and loves me very much. But I do not pretend that he won’t have a lot of baggage to deal with in his future. I will continue moving forward in my journey doing the best job I can, but I will never forget to be sensitive to the pain I’ve caused.
When we are feeling good about ourselves we tend to say things that make others feel good also. Likewise, when we are troubled and in despair we tend to say things that are ugly and hurtful. The Bible tells us to make sure the words of our mouth are acceptable and pleasing not only to God but to others as well. If good words are hard for you to find make a list of them and practice them often. If in a fit of rage you find it hard to remember the good words on your list turn around and walk away.
An excerpt from Addiction: A Personal Story
http://www.lacysjourney.com
It would be nice if we could move forward in our journey without lugging around all the baggage from our past. But sometimes the baggage is attached to the people we love. We handed it to them in a fit of rage. We tied it to their wrists during an alcoholic binge. We slung it upon their backs with mean and nasty words. My son Shaun is carrying some of that baggage. Shaun was a very busy child. He was stubborn and always getting into trouble. He was eventually diagnosed with ADHD but that was before we knew much about it. There was a time in my life when I had trouble saying anything nice. I was filled with self hatred and anger. I woke up each morning in a bad mood. I hated my life and resented Shaun for making my life miserable. I nicknamed him “Little Shit.” And he lived up to his new title. The more I yelled the more defiant Shaun became. So I yelled more. This went on until he was four. By this time he was having problems in preschool, was acting aggressively with other children and was lighting fires in the backyard. My pediatrician recommended a family counselor for Shaun. So I made an appointment and the two of us went. By the grace of God a therapist showed me my part in his unruly behavior and I made changes. I quit calling him names and I stopped yelling at him. Today Shaun is a great kid. He is highly intelligent, even tempered and loves me very much. But I do not pretend that he won’t have a lot of baggage to deal with in his future. I will continue moving forward in my journey doing the best job I can, but I will never forget to be sensitive to the pain I’ve caused.
When we are feeling good about ourselves we tend to say things that make others feel good also. Likewise, when we are troubled and in despair we tend to say things that are ugly and hurtful. The Bible tells us to make sure the words of our mouth are acceptable and pleasing not only to God but to others as well. If good words are hard for you to find make a list of them and practice them often. If in a fit of rage you find it hard to remember the good words on your list turn around and walk away.
An excerpt from Addiction: A Personal Story
http://www.lacysjourney.com
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Beloved, Let Us Love One Another
My sister's husband was sharing a story with me about a couple of homeless people he had encountered, when he began to cry. The spirit of God had moved on his heart with such compassion, that to tell the story still brought tears to his eyes. The story went like this: He went to lunch with two of his co-workers. As they pulled into the parking lot he saw a homeless man yelling at his wife outside the Taco Bell. Ignoring the couple he and his friends went in, ordered their food and sat down. A few minutes later the homeless man and his wife came in and sat down next to them. My brother in law had only recently given his life to Jesus and his co-workers were unbelievers. So he was a bit uneasy when the Spirit called him to pray for this couple. “What will my friends think?” went through his mind, but the Spirit of God was strong and my brother in law was obedient. He asked the man if he could pray with him, and then he laid his hands on the man and asked God to take care of his needs. He said the power of God was so strong at that moment it was as if there was no one else in the restaurant. He was aware only of God's presence and this man. He had completely forgotten about the two co-workers who were sitting next to him. When he finished praying he said one of the man's teeth fell out of his mouth and landed on the table. He said it was an extremely uncomfortable moment. My brother-in-law reached into his pocket and handed the man some money. After he did, his co-workers each took out what change they had in their pockets and offered it to the man as well. When God speaks of love, this is the love he speaks about. Love your neighbor as yourself even when he is a dirty, poor, homeless man.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Gentle Instruction.
2 Timothy 2: 25,26
Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.
I have heard it said, “If Jesus is not your God then the Devil is.” I have heard it said, “A man who does not believe in God will believe in just about anything.” Before I came to believe in God, I was lost. I was unhappy and depressed. I constantly searched for happiness in nightclubs, in bottles, in boxes of cookies or in unhealthy relationships. I have heard it said, “God has put a void in our lives that can only be filled by Him.” I used to walk around with emptiness inside me the size of the Grand Canyon. My problem was that I didn't know how to let God fill it. The Bible says, “Knock and the door will be opened unto you. Seek and Ye shall find.” Thankfully, God put people in my life that taught me how to find Him. And when I deeply desired to find Him, He was there. If you are having a hard time with the God thing, just ask Him to reveal Himself to you and He will. That is His promise to all who seek Him.
Thought to meditate on:
I had someone ask me once why I believed in God. I remember having lots of answers but none I could put into words. I told him it was better felt than telt and I meant it. God is a feeling I have. I just know He is there. And nothing in this whole world could ever convince me otherwise. If you want that kind of confidence in God ask Him to become that real to you. I am not quite sure how I was blessed with such an awesome relationship with God but one thing I know, if He gave Himself to me He will give Himslef to you also. I'd like to think I am more special to Him to any of you, but I know I'm not.
Order your copy of ADDICTION: A Personal Story
http://www.lacysjourney.com
Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.
I have heard it said, “If Jesus is not your God then the Devil is.” I have heard it said, “A man who does not believe in God will believe in just about anything.” Before I came to believe in God, I was lost. I was unhappy and depressed. I constantly searched for happiness in nightclubs, in bottles, in boxes of cookies or in unhealthy relationships. I have heard it said, “God has put a void in our lives that can only be filled by Him.” I used to walk around with emptiness inside me the size of the Grand Canyon. My problem was that I didn't know how to let God fill it. The Bible says, “Knock and the door will be opened unto you. Seek and Ye shall find.” Thankfully, God put people in my life that taught me how to find Him. And when I deeply desired to find Him, He was there. If you are having a hard time with the God thing, just ask Him to reveal Himself to you and He will. That is His promise to all who seek Him.
Thought to meditate on:
I had someone ask me once why I believed in God. I remember having lots of answers but none I could put into words. I told him it was better felt than telt and I meant it. God is a feeling I have. I just know He is there. And nothing in this whole world could ever convince me otherwise. If you want that kind of confidence in God ask Him to become that real to you. I am not quite sure how I was blessed with such an awesome relationship with God but one thing I know, if He gave Himself to me He will give Himslef to you also. I'd like to think I am more special to Him to any of you, but I know I'm not.
Order your copy of ADDICTION: A Personal Story
http://www.lacysjourney.com
Monday, April 24, 2006
Let the poor say I am rich
I read a story in the newspaper about a man who shot his wife, his children and then himself because he could not provide for his family. For him, it was easier to have them dead than to watch them go without. Isn't that sad? He quit. He gave up. I don't know his full circumstances but I know that what he did was not the best answer. Actually, to me and to God, it was no answer at all. The stronghold that money has on some people can cause devastating results. The love of money truly is the root of all evil. Statistics show that money is the cause of most divorces. Most of my drinking when I was alone was because of financial reasons. It seems ironic now how much money I spent on alcohol to drown out my financial fears. If I added up all the money it cost me to escape from uncomfortable feelings of fear, I probably would have been able to pay the bills. That is the insanity of alcoholism. I took my last few dollars to buy cigarettes and alcohol and then complained I couldn't buy food. One of the hardest principles I had to learn in recovery was that, fear of economic failure would leave me. They told me I no longer had to be motivated by fear of finances. That didn't happen overnight. That was a long process. I couldn't imagine being free from financial fear. It was what I thought about all day long. But today if I wake up in the morning and thank God for His provision, I might not receive a new boat, but I have food, and clothes and all my needs are met. There is contentment in my life today I never experienced before.
Thought to meditate on:
I think financial insecurity is the norm for most people. Not to many people have a huge savings account and an endless supply of money. God knows we all wish we did but that is not a true reality for most people. And it seems for those who do have more, they just have bigger expenses and more bills. So in the end, we are all doing about the same financially. But God doesn't want our focus to be on what we have and don't have. He wants us focused on Him. He is our provider. He will meet all of our needs. If you put God first, He will put you first. The Bible says that God wants you lacking no good thing. He wants your vats to be full and overflowing.
Order your copy of Addiction: A Personal Story online at Amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0977741702
Thought to meditate on:
I think financial insecurity is the norm for most people. Not to many people have a huge savings account and an endless supply of money. God knows we all wish we did but that is not a true reality for most people. And it seems for those who do have more, they just have bigger expenses and more bills. So in the end, we are all doing about the same financially. But God doesn't want our focus to be on what we have and don't have. He wants us focused on Him. He is our provider. He will meet all of our needs. If you put God first, He will put you first. The Bible says that God wants you lacking no good thing. He wants your vats to be full and overflowing.
Order your copy of Addiction: A Personal Story online at Amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0977741702
Sunday, March 19, 2006
What's in a relationship? Alcohol or Jesus?
Rise Up
2 Timothy 1:7
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
I was at a bar one night with some friends and I saw a man I wanted to meet. I was tired of being alone so I waited until he left the bar and I chased him down the parking lot. Can you believe it? I had a few cans of liquid courage in me so I was able to put on the charm and ask him for his phone number. I never could have done that sober. Actually, if I was sober, I never would have wanted to meet a guy in a bar. I called him the next day and we began dating. The strange thing about this guy is he didn't drink at all. He said he didn't like the way he felt the next day. That's funny, neither did I, but that didn't stop me from drinking. Ironically I found myself drinking more because he was sober. I guess I didn't have enough confidence in myself to think a sober guy would find me attractive. I always went out with drunks who thought I was a ravishing beauty. His sobriety made me more nervous, and gave me even more reason to drink. That relationship ended abruptly. I wasn't much fun to be around, drunk all the time. And looking back I am surprised he didn't dump me a whole lot sooner. No matter how hard I tried to drink socially, I always turned into a drunken idiot. I discovered that drunk women are not attractive and I tried hard not to be one. But I failed everytime I picked up that first drink. And when I think about the guy I met in the bar, I get embarrassed. I pray I don't ever run into him.
Thought to meditate on:
I do not have one story to tell of a successful dating relationship between myself and a man I met in a bar. Not one. I guess that should tell us something. I would tend to believe that the statistics of relationships lasting between two people meeting in a bar are low. I am not saying that nice people don't go to bars. I went to bars and I was a nice person. But the majority of people who go to bars are not the type of people I would want a serious relationship with. Not even when I was drinking. Maybe you should take up a sport or a hobby and find people with similar interests. I think the chance of a successful relationship might be higher this way. Just for the record, I met my third husband in alcoholics anonymous. It wasn't on the list of places I wanted to meet a man, but it worked out OK.
ADDICTION: A Personal Story
purchase your copy here: http://www.lacysjourney.com
2 Timothy 1:7
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
I was at a bar one night with some friends and I saw a man I wanted to meet. I was tired of being alone so I waited until he left the bar and I chased him down the parking lot. Can you believe it? I had a few cans of liquid courage in me so I was able to put on the charm and ask him for his phone number. I never could have done that sober. Actually, if I was sober, I never would have wanted to meet a guy in a bar. I called him the next day and we began dating. The strange thing about this guy is he didn't drink at all. He said he didn't like the way he felt the next day. That's funny, neither did I, but that didn't stop me from drinking. Ironically I found myself drinking more because he was sober. I guess I didn't have enough confidence in myself to think a sober guy would find me attractive. I always went out with drunks who thought I was a ravishing beauty. His sobriety made me more nervous, and gave me even more reason to drink. That relationship ended abruptly. I wasn't much fun to be around, drunk all the time. And looking back I am surprised he didn't dump me a whole lot sooner. No matter how hard I tried to drink socially, I always turned into a drunken idiot. I discovered that drunk women are not attractive and I tried hard not to be one. But I failed everytime I picked up that first drink. And when I think about the guy I met in the bar, I get embarrassed. I pray I don't ever run into him.
Thought to meditate on:
I do not have one story to tell of a successful dating relationship between myself and a man I met in a bar. Not one. I guess that should tell us something. I would tend to believe that the statistics of relationships lasting between two people meeting in a bar are low. I am not saying that nice people don't go to bars. I went to bars and I was a nice person. But the majority of people who go to bars are not the type of people I would want a serious relationship with. Not even when I was drinking. Maybe you should take up a sport or a hobby and find people with similar interests. I think the chance of a successful relationship might be higher this way. Just for the record, I met my third husband in alcoholics anonymous. It wasn't on the list of places I wanted to meet a man, but it worked out OK.
ADDICTION: A Personal Story
purchase your copy here: http://www.lacysjourney.com
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Woe! To Be Accepted.
Your Word Have I Hid in my Heart
Deuteronomy 6:5-8
These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
Growing up I went to fifteen different summer and winter church camps in nine years. They usually took place in the mountains somewhere by a lake. I remember by the end of each week I was so hungry for God that He was all I thought about for weeks. There was something powerful about being away from peer pressure, up in the mountains surrounded by nature. If I could have stayed on the mountain forever I would have. Oh the years of misery I could have alleviated. But as soon as I'd get back into the old crowd, and the old lifestyle, God was pushed to the side and my life was falling down hill all over again. It wasn't that I didn't want to live right. I just didn't know how to. I had friends from Church who sat in a circle on the lawn at lunch time. They ate, and had fellowship. I was so jealous of their relationships. They actually socialized with each other outside of Church. I really wanted to join them but I could not pull myself away from the corrupt crowd I hung around with. I always felt so guilty sitting with them. I felt like a hypocrite. They heard the stories about me at the parties I attended. Everybody did. I felt unworthy of their friendships so I stayed far away from them. I try not to beat myself up because of my mistakes. Nobody is perfect. Even they have failed over the years. But at least they gave themselves a chance. I was always to afraid.
Thought to meditate on:
My Church friends never judged me. I was the one who judged me. It was my own guilt that kept me separated from some very nice people. At camp we got along great but at school I just couldn't join them. Personal guilt and self condemnation stood in my way. Drugs and alcohol was my god when I was down off that mountain and unfortunately would remain my central focus for a very long time.
http://www.personaladdiction.com
Deuteronomy 6:5-8
These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
Growing up I went to fifteen different summer and winter church camps in nine years. They usually took place in the mountains somewhere by a lake. I remember by the end of each week I was so hungry for God that He was all I thought about for weeks. There was something powerful about being away from peer pressure, up in the mountains surrounded by nature. If I could have stayed on the mountain forever I would have. Oh the years of misery I could have alleviated. But as soon as I'd get back into the old crowd, and the old lifestyle, God was pushed to the side and my life was falling down hill all over again. It wasn't that I didn't want to live right. I just didn't know how to. I had friends from Church who sat in a circle on the lawn at lunch time. They ate, and had fellowship. I was so jealous of their relationships. They actually socialized with each other outside of Church. I really wanted to join them but I could not pull myself away from the corrupt crowd I hung around with. I always felt so guilty sitting with them. I felt like a hypocrite. They heard the stories about me at the parties I attended. Everybody did. I felt unworthy of their friendships so I stayed far away from them. I try not to beat myself up because of my mistakes. Nobody is perfect. Even they have failed over the years. But at least they gave themselves a chance. I was always to afraid.
Thought to meditate on:
My Church friends never judged me. I was the one who judged me. It was my own guilt that kept me separated from some very nice people. At camp we got along great but at school I just couldn't join them. Personal guilt and self condemnation stood in my way. Drugs and alcohol was my god when I was down off that mountain and unfortunately would remain my central focus for a very long time.
http://www.personaladdiction.com
Thursday, December 22, 2005
It's that time again for a New Years Resolution!
He Calms the Storm©
Psalm 37:8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret - it leads only to evil.
A few years ago two of my good friends deeply offended me. I felt completely betrayed. The more I thought about the offense the angrier I got. And because I was incapable of dealing with my feelings, I got drunk. In my drunken rage I went through my house demolishing everything I could get my hands on. I broke jars of food on my carpet and smashed beautiful ceramic dishes into the walls. I broke expensive sunglasses and items that were very special to me. I took valuable gifts received from loved ones and sent them crashing to the floor. The next morning I was horrified at what I had done. What a mess I had made. And so many irreplaceable items were completely destroyed. I was overwhelmed with guilt, regret, remorse and shame. I had done something I never would have done sober, all because I was angry and drunk. Situations like this prove my need for a power greater than myself. Had I turned to God in my anger and not to alcohol the end result could have been a whole lot more desireable. I need a God in my life who can help me during times of darkest despair. I need a God who can turn my mourning into dancing. A God who can lift my sorrow and replace it with peace. After a few years of sobriety I don't take my anger to the bottle anymore. Today, I take my anger to God.
Thought to meditate on:I have heard it said that worry can kill you. Worry is like a cancer and will eventually make you sick. But my experience is that anger is more destructive than worry. Not that worry is advisable but when I worry I tend to hide under my blankets and disappear. Anger tends to lead me into violent fits of rage. It is important to control anger lest it consume us and cause us damage. Damage to ourselves, to our family's, and in my experience, damage to our stuff. How many holes do you have in your walls?
http://www.personaladdiction.com
Psalm 37:8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret - it leads only to evil.
A few years ago two of my good friends deeply offended me. I felt completely betrayed. The more I thought about the offense the angrier I got. And because I was incapable of dealing with my feelings, I got drunk. In my drunken rage I went through my house demolishing everything I could get my hands on. I broke jars of food on my carpet and smashed beautiful ceramic dishes into the walls. I broke expensive sunglasses and items that were very special to me. I took valuable gifts received from loved ones and sent them crashing to the floor. The next morning I was horrified at what I had done. What a mess I had made. And so many irreplaceable items were completely destroyed. I was overwhelmed with guilt, regret, remorse and shame. I had done something I never would have done sober, all because I was angry and drunk. Situations like this prove my need for a power greater than myself. Had I turned to God in my anger and not to alcohol the end result could have been a whole lot more desireable. I need a God in my life who can help me during times of darkest despair. I need a God who can turn my mourning into dancing. A God who can lift my sorrow and replace it with peace. After a few years of sobriety I don't take my anger to the bottle anymore. Today, I take my anger to God.
Thought to meditate on:I have heard it said that worry can kill you. Worry is like a cancer and will eventually make you sick. But my experience is that anger is more destructive than worry. Not that worry is advisable but when I worry I tend to hide under my blankets and disappear. Anger tends to lead me into violent fits of rage. It is important to control anger lest it consume us and cause us damage. Damage to ourselves, to our family's, and in my experience, damage to our stuff. How many holes do you have in your walls?
http://www.personaladdiction.com
Sunday, December 11, 2005
When it all seems hopeless! Turn to the one who brings hope!
I Am Not my Own©
1 Corinthians 6:19,20 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
My friend Jim had a number of extra marital affairs. He blamed his lack of self control on his rock cocaine addiction and his alcoholism. He told me when he drank and used drugs, he looked for sex. He craved it. He said he wasn't proud of what he did, but was glad today to be sober and self controlled. God had delivered him and the urge was gone. My friend Bob also committed adultery. He could not find the strength he needed to be faithful to his wife. No matter how hard he tried, he always gave in to the desires of his flesh and allowed women to lure him into their rooms. Although he was in therapy for his problem he still fought the battle daily. Both men suffered from a sex addiction. It was just as hard of an addiction to break as drugs or alcohol. I read a book called the Bondage Breaker where they discussed sexual urges and it helped me to understand the sickness behind the behaviors. Fortunately there is a program to help people with this problem, just as there is one for alcohol and drugs. Nobody has to remain in the grips of the sin. God can and will break the chains. I believe the devil uses our weaknesses to keep us down, under his control. He discovers what we are driven by and dangles it in front of our face until we give in to the desire. The Bible says the devil is the god of this world and so he does have the power to destroy us. But we have to let him. For every force against us God makes a way of escape. The Bible also says, if God is for us nothing can be against us. That means no power in hell can keep us down.
Thought to meditate on:
When we gave our life to Jesus He took up residence in our hearts. That means we have given Him control of our bodies as well as our minds and spirits. We have an obligation to God to refrain from sin that destroys us since we no longer belong to ourselves. God bought us with a price when He sent Jesus to save us and it is our duty to properly care for His property. And it also never hurt to have a little self respect and dignity. Don't you think you deserve it? I do.
My thoughts and revelations:
http://www.personaladdiction.com
http://www.lacysjourney.com
1 Corinthians 6:19,20 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
My friend Jim had a number of extra marital affairs. He blamed his lack of self control on his rock cocaine addiction and his alcoholism. He told me when he drank and used drugs, he looked for sex. He craved it. He said he wasn't proud of what he did, but was glad today to be sober and self controlled. God had delivered him and the urge was gone. My friend Bob also committed adultery. He could not find the strength he needed to be faithful to his wife. No matter how hard he tried, he always gave in to the desires of his flesh and allowed women to lure him into their rooms. Although he was in therapy for his problem he still fought the battle daily. Both men suffered from a sex addiction. It was just as hard of an addiction to break as drugs or alcohol. I read a book called the Bondage Breaker where they discussed sexual urges and it helped me to understand the sickness behind the behaviors. Fortunately there is a program to help people with this problem, just as there is one for alcohol and drugs. Nobody has to remain in the grips of the sin. God can and will break the chains. I believe the devil uses our weaknesses to keep us down, under his control. He discovers what we are driven by and dangles it in front of our face until we give in to the desire. The Bible says the devil is the god of this world and so he does have the power to destroy us. But we have to let him. For every force against us God makes a way of escape. The Bible also says, if God is for us nothing can be against us. That means no power in hell can keep us down.
Thought to meditate on:
When we gave our life to Jesus He took up residence in our hearts. That means we have given Him control of our bodies as well as our minds and spirits. We have an obligation to God to refrain from sin that destroys us since we no longer belong to ourselves. God bought us with a price when He sent Jesus to save us and it is our duty to properly care for His property. And it also never hurt to have a little self respect and dignity. Don't you think you deserve it? I do.
My thoughts and revelations:
http://www.personaladdiction.com
http://www.lacysjourney.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
