Peer Pressure; A Blessing In Disguise?

I suffered terribly from peer pressure when I was a teenager. My brother had a group of friends and I wanted them to include me in their plans so I did what they did. I admit I was hyperactive and it was hard for me to calm down, but didn't that mean I was fun? They just called me squirrelly and told me to go away. The kids in his group were heavy pot smokers. They spent their lunch money on marijuana they bought from students selling it right on the school campus. Just to fit in I began buying it too. I went to the swap meet with a friend and bought a marijuana pipe and a baby bong. I was set. I had everything I thought I needed to fit in with the so called in crowd. The group was going to an Aerosmith concert and I talked my brother into allowing me to go with them. When we got there I sat down and took out my stash. I was so proud. I was going to share my weed with my new friends, and let them use my baby bong. I knew that would get me accepted. But before I knew it, I was wasted badly. And this was not fun. I had to hide in the bathroom because I was afraid the security guards were going to take me to jail. I did not function well on marijuana and this time was the worst. I tried to be cool. But everyone laughed at me. In fact they continued laughing at me for weeks. Any developed relationships with this crowd ended abruptly. I guess I didn't fit in as well as I had hoped and I was devastated. It took a while for me to develop my own identity. I wanted to be like everyone else because I didn't much like being myself. Behaving like popular people made me feel important. But today, after many years of self help, it's OK to be me. God instilled in me qualities unlike anyone else’s, and I have grown to find importance in exactly who He made me to be. Looking back to that time in my life and those people, God only knows what I ever saw in them. But I wouldn’t change that time in my life for anything. Those experiences are the reason my life is so good today.
It wasn't that I thought people were better than me; I wanted them to like me. I was friendly, I was helpful, and I would do anything for anyone to get them to accept me. Today I have come to realize God didn't want me hanging out with that group of people. I couldn't get accepted by them no matter how hard I tried because God didn't want them to accept me. It took me years to figure that out.
It is in the difficult times of my life that I have grown the most. Looking back at school days and my insecurities has helped create the high level of personal security I have today. And the teenagers I am able to help by telling my story has been the most rewarding of all. I am not proud of many things I’ve done and lives have been negatively affected by my behavior but the people I am helping today because of my mistakes far surpasses any guilt I would carry. The impact of my failure will indirectly cause the success of others. That makes every bad choice I have ever made, worth it.

Read more great stories in my book Addiction: A Personal story
http://www.lacysjourney.com