How To Use A Level

How Does a Level Work?

The Process
The Importance of Using a Level
Use a construction level to ensure that your project is straight. Contractors use levels when hanging pictures, window blinds, and doors. If you choose not to use a level, you run the risk of building slanted walls. Most levels are manual and non-powered, while others are laser powered.
The Air Bubble Is Central
Manual levels are anywhere from 6 inches long to 8 feet. Levels contain a liquid-filled tube, encased in plastic or glass. This tube has 2 lines. which separate the tube into three sections. There is an air bubble inside the liquid. When the surface is level, the air bubble in the liquid sits in between the two lines. If the surface is slanted, the bubble will lean to one side of the center or the other. If you lay the level on a surface, such as a shelf, and the air bubble centers between the two lines, you know your surface is level.

The Level Cannot Lie
Water is self-leveling. Bend a plastic tube so both ends are up in the air. Fill it with water. Notice that the water lines are the same level on both sides of the tube, even if one side of the tube extends higher than the other. The water in a level is also self-leveling.

Laser Levels
The laser level works differently than the bubble level. The laser level is battery-operated and levels are checked not by an air bubble, but by a red line. Place the laser level in the area you wish to check such as a window sill, or above a cabinet. Turn the level on. The red light will shine all the way around a radius, in a straight line. Use a pencil to mark the lines, and your project will be completely level and plumb.

How to Visit West Hollywood, California

How to Visit West Hollywood, California
If you're planning a trip to California, why not visit West Hollywood? Home of the famous Sunset Strip, and home of the Stars. You never know when a famous actor will come strolling down the Blvd. With so many activities to occupy your time, you're bound to find yourself with more than enough to keep yourself busy.
Instructions
Difficulty: Easy
Things You'll Need:
Reservations Walking shoes Dancing Shoes
Visit West Hollywood, California
Step 1:
Choose from over 140 different restaurant locations. Enjoy breakfast at Hugos or relax with a Bloody Mary at The Courtyard.
Step 2:
Come to life after dark in one of West Hollywood's many nightclubs, comedy clubs, and lounges. 7969 has a bar that overlooks the dance floor.
Step 3:
Dance at Whiskey A Go Go, or visit The Laugh Factory; home of many big name comedians.
Step 4:
Shop in West Hollywood's 1.9 square miles of galleries, spas, and boutiques.
Step 5:
Search for collectibles at the Armani Exchange, or visit LASC; the shop that carries everything for men.
Step 6:
Visit Le Bra Lingerie on North Robertson Blvd for a beautiful piece of lingerie.
Step 7:
Visit West Hollywood's museums, art galleries, playhouses, and theatres.
Step 8:
Visit Coast Playhouse, or the Actors Circle Theatre. If you find yourself on Melrose Ave. check out the Pop Factory, or visit Moss.
Step 9:
Make your reservations in one of West Hollywood's many hotels, motels, or studio apartments. There definitely isn't a shortage of places to stay.
Tips & Warnings
Visit your local AAA for a full list of accomodations. They carry information brochures for almost every vacation hot-spot in the world. Hollywood, California is definitely in that category.
Be safe, especially if you're out late.
Resources
West Hollywood

How to Make Rubber Bracelets.

How to Make Rubber Bracelets
Maybe you've seen them sprouting up everywhere? Those simple rubber bracelets with their cute sayings. Some read, Best Friend, others say different names, and some just have fancy designs. Walk into a mini mart and you're sure to find a counter display filled with a variety of rubber bracelets. Making a rubber bracelet can be as simple as putting a large rubber band on your wrist. Whatever method you choose, making a rubber bracelet is simple. Just follow a few basic steps.
Instructions
Difficulty: Easy
Things You'll Need:
Rubber material Scissors Glue Markers Glitter Sparkles Crystals Needle Thread
Make Rubber Bracelets
Step 1:
Purchase a large rubber band or a small toy Barbie bicycle. Both of these items fit on the wrist.
Step 2:
Using sharp scissors, cut 8 inch strips from belts, gloves, rubber mats, or bicycle innertubes. Connect the ends together with glue.
Step 3:
Accurately measure your cuts with chalk. Chalk stays on well, is easy to see, and wipes off easily.
Step 4:
Add color to your rubber bracelets using colored markers.
Step 5:
Glue beads, crystals, glitter, sparkles, and studs to your rubber bracelets for decoration.
Step 6:
Hang tassles, chains, and charms from your rubber bracelets using a strong adhesive.
Tips & Warnings
Already pre-formed rubber bands make the best rubber bracelets. For maximum decorating space, find rubber that is at least 1/2 inch wide. If your bracelets are thin enough you can sew the ends together with a needle and thread.
Use a strong adhesive glue to ensure a long lasting hole.
Resources
Rubber Bracelets

How To Draw Boba Fett

How to Draw Boba Fett
Drawing the fictional character from Star Wars, Boba Fett, can be challenging, but for the artistically gifted, might prove to be just the challenge you are looking for. Boba Fett, the anti-hero, bounty hunter, hired by the Empire to capture Hans Solo, is covered in body armor and carries an arsenal of weaponry. As long as you pay attention to detail, adding his equipment and weapons, drawing Boba Fett should be a great addition to your character portfolio.
Instructions
Difficulty: Moderate
Things You'll Need:
Sketch Pad
Drawing Pencils
Dark Colored Pencils
Step 1:
Start your Boba Fett drawing with an outline of his entire body, including his head. Boba Fett wears a helmet on his head. He never shows his face, so there isn't any facial details to worry about. His helmet is triangular shaped, metal with a rounded top. The helmet has a plastic face protector attached to the front. Boba Fett wears a body armor suit which fits the outline of his body. His full body outline is fairly straightforward.
Step 2:
Sketch Boba Fett's outline close to his body, as if sketching an outline of bodyparts; shoulders, arms, torso, hips, legs, down to his boots. His suit is tight fitting, like Batman or Superman. In fact, sketch an outline of Boba Fett's body the same as you would sketch one of the other action heros. The body armor blends into the body. It is the coloring and detail of the suit that distinguishes the outfit from the actual body.
Step 3:
Shade Boba Fetts suit and helmet a dark army green color. His appearance is dark, because he depicts a dark character. Boba Fett wears a pair of black combat boots. When you draw his character, his legs tuck into his boots. Draw the length of his boots mid calf. Boba Fett has been a cartoon character, an action hero, and also a real star in the movies. His real appearance stands at least 6 feet tall.
Step 4:
Pay attention when drawing Boba Fett's arsenal of weaponry. It is the equipment he carries that sets Boba Fett apart from the rest. Start by drawing a sawed-off Blas Tech EE-3 carbine rifle. Add a Tenloss DXR-6 disruptor pistol and a Motrinomon Z-6 jet pack. This artillery attaches to his suit on the backside.
Step 5:
Sketch the rifle as you would a sawed off shotgun; attach it to the jet pack. Boba Fett carries the jet pack on his back, which will not be seen unless the character is drawn from the side. If you include the jet pack in your drawing, sketch it as you would a rectangular style backpack, simple. The pistol, which resembles any normal pistol, is also attached to the characters jet pack on his backside. Drawing Boba Fett at an angle allows you to include the jet pack, rifle, and pistol.
Step 6:
Draw a Czerka ZX miniature flame projector attached to the top of Boba Fett's left gauntlet or glove. Also add a Blas Tech Dur-24 wrist laser and a Kevlarex Consolidated Arms MM9 mini concussion rocket. These three weapons are positioned right above Boba Fett's left glove.
Step 7:
Draw the flame projector to look like a simple open ended pipe. Add in some orange to the end, to look like a flame. Sketch the laser next to the flame. This is nothing more than a long straw like shape. The mini rocket, which sits next to the laser, looks just like a rocket. Use your imagination. And don't be intimidated by all the fancy names. The weapons are simple and ordinary to draw.
Step 8:
When drawing Boba Fett's weapons, don't forget to attach to his right glove a fiber-cord whip launcher with 20 meter lanyard, retractable vibro-blades, and a dart launcher. Again, these are fancy names for simple weapons. Right above Boba Fett's right glove, draw a small rectangular box with a rope extended out, about 3 feet. Next to the whip launcher, sketch a few small blades and a dart.
Step 9:
Add to the top of Boba Fett's jet pack, the one you will draw on his back, a drawing of a small missile. If the character is facing forward, you can sketch the missile to extend up from his back, above one shoulder. The missile should look like a small rocket.
Step 10:
Add knee pads to his uniform, square shapes drawn on each knee. Add to the surface of one of his knee pads a rocket dart launcher; a very small rocket shape. Add to the surface of the other knee pad, a simple fire dart. This is a dart shape with an orange flame extending out from the pointed end.
Tips & Warnings
If you are concerned about drawing Boba Fett's arsenal weaponry correctly, put on a Star Wars movie and view the character of Boba Fett. Pay special attention to the weaponry he carries on his back and on his arms, above his gloves. You can get a great idea of how to draw Boba Fett's props by watching him in action.
Boba Fett's character is fairly straightforward. He is always wearing the same costume and carrying the same weaponry. Keep focused on main colors and details and you'll be sure to draw an accurate Boba Fett.

Do You Need A Building Permit?

When deciding whether you need to pull a permit for your remodel or addition it is important to consult the city in which you live; each city has different rules and regulations concerning building permits.
Different cities have different variance codes based on different factors; specific weather patterns, soil types, whether there are earthquake faults, tornadoes, high fire zones, chronic windy areas, etc. All our determinants of what permits must be pulled for what building taking place.
The state of California has the strictest enforcement of permit codes, out of the 52 states. Legally you must pull a permit for even small jobs such as, installing retrofit windows, removing and replacing plugs or adding additional electrical outlets. Simple projects not requiring a permit in most states include; removing or replacing plumbing for upgrade, painting, flooring, installing built in wall units, kitchen cabinets, providing no electrical or plumbing work is involved.
It is important to discuss future home repair or home addition projects with any home owners association you might be involved with. Some communities have rules against building or adding to an existing structure. Some communities strictly enforce certain paint colors allowed on the outside of a house. Checking with your association can deter any possible problems that might occur after a project is complete.
One thing is certain, if a permit is to be pulled it is very important to do so. Not pulling permits can be cause for great consequence. If you are a homeowner that doesn't pull a permit, sometimes referred to as the "Dumb homeowner syndrome," you might get away with a slap on the hand, but a contractor knowing better, can face possible fines and maybe even suspension of a license; depending on the type of work done.

How To Stop Emotional Eating

Emotional eating usually starts in the mind. A thought becomes an obsession and the obsession turns into a compulsion. The compulsion turns into a habit and off we go. Habits are hard to break but can be broken if enough time is given to undoing the mental process. As we replace the obsessive thought with another thought eventually we break the cycle of food obsession. For example, instead of thinking about a cookie one could call a friend on the phone and ask her how she's doing. Not that eating a cookie is wrong but if you've already had a few and you're craving more because you can't pay your gas bill change you're thinking. Learning to change the way we think takes us off the road of insanity and puts us onto the road of recovery.
First we admit we are powerless over food and that our lives have become unmanageable, we come to believe in a power greater than ourselves that can restore us to sanity, and we make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God. We are basically going to exchange our food addiction, our reliance on the comforting affects of food to help us feel better, for an addiction to God or a new dependence on Him. Believing in God is a struggle for some and for others they never find Him. I am challenging you if you don't know God, start today by asking Him to reveal Himself to you. Everyday as you work towards food recovery ask Him to manifest Himself in your life. If you truly seek Him you will find Him.
Apologizing to those we hurt is critical to our recovery. Being sorry sets us free from the guilt that leads us to food. I know as stubborn and rebellious people we tend to have a need to be right. We kick and scream to get our own way. Letting go of the need to be right is of vital importance. It is OK to be wrong even if you are not. Believe me, you will feel better and come out the winner in the end. I know that is against everything you've been taught. It doesn't matter. Your peace and freedom is far more important than being right.
I know that if I have harmed someone and they are angry with me I feel uncomfortable. Because discomfort leads to eating I will eat because I feel bad for what I have done. If I apologize then I release myself from the feelings of guilt. I no longer eat to feel better because I have let go of the burden of the guilt that makes me feel bad.
Trusting in God means that I believe He can solve all of my problems. Trusting that God can solve my problems means that I reach for God during discomfort and not food. Turning my will and my life over to God means I have to believe He is smarter than I am and can make better decisions than I can. It is easy to wake up in the morning and turn my life over to the care of God, but actually leaving my life there is difficult. How can I really trust that God is going to work out my problems? If I can't see Him working how am I suppose to believe that He is?
You've heard it said before, practice makes perfect. As I practiced this principle and experienced God working to solve my problems it became easier each time to trust Him again. As I continued reaching for God instead of food, I slowly lost my dependence on food and developed a new dependence on God. (Note: Sometimes you will have to wait. God's timing is not always the same as ours. But don't give up. Keep trusting no matter what.)
God started doing for me what I could not do for myself. Now I actually wake up in the morning excited to see what God is going to do next. Developing a constant contact with God is of vital importance. Every single day you must practice praying to Him. As you talk to God your relationship with Him will grow. As you get closer to God and your belief in Him strengthens, trusting in Him will get easier. The more you trust God in all your affairs the less you will be dependent on food for comfort.

Order my book, "So You Want To Lose Weight But You Can't Stop Eating." http://www.personaladdiction.com

Worst Pest Experience

I remember growing up as a young girl in Simi Valley, CA. We lived in a newly developed neighborhood amongst a vast number of orange groves. The town was relatively new. There weren't many tracks of homes built yet, so unfortunately there were a lot of grasshoppers. I remember these ugly, large, brown creatures crawling up the walls of my house. They were on the fences, in the street, and sometimes even floating in the pool. They were everywhere. I can't quite remember any particular catastrophe concerning these dreadful insects but one thing is for certain, I am a grownup now, with a grasshopper phobia.
Because of my irrational fear of grasshoppers I've never been big on gardening. No matter how beautiful my next door neighbor's yard is, I can't seem to get myself to plant anything of real beauty in my yard. Gardens have to be tended to and I know where grasshoppers live. Needless to say I am a huge fan of the rock garden. Looking back quite a few years I am reminded of the first house my husband and I purchased. There were definitely too many trees for my liking, so I immediately hired a gardener to do my trimming. Of course I put him in charge of all the outdoor chores. There was however a large rose bush that lined the back wall. It was a pretty bush with gorgeous yellow roses. The gardener informed me that the flowers would grow bigger, brighter and more often if I kept the tree pruned. I asked him, of course, why he didn't do it for me; he mentioned something about upping the cost and not really having the time. God knew there was no way I was trimming any rose bush so I just decided I didn't care what the yellow roses looked like or even whether or not they grew. In fact, I opted to have the whole tree taken out. A few months later after ignoring the bush completely I noticed one lone flower growing in the midst of the tree. It looked so pretty there all alone and I thought what a shame that there wasn't more of this beautiful flower growing. Suddenly it came to me that if I'd trim that tree as I had been advised, then the tree would spring forth more beauty. "Okay." I said to myself. "I'll trim the tree." It wasn't the best time of year for trimming trees. It was a warm day in the middle of September, perfect grasshopper weather. But I got my clippers, my gloves and I set out to bring beauty to my backyard. First I got the hose and drenched the bush from top to bottom and side to side. I was certain if there were any pesky creatures in there they would definitely fly away. Of course I stood back quite a ways in case something did fly out at me I could quickly run into the house. But nothing ever did fly and I assumed I was safe. So I began trimming that tree. I wish I could say I had a good time. I know many people get great pleasure out of gardening, but my fear would not allow me to relax. I could not get rid of the thought that a grasshopper would fly out of the bush and land on my arm. I had a grasshopper land on my arm once when I was twelve, and it wouldn't come off. I was in seventh grade at tennis practice. I was minding my own business hitting tennis balls against the backboard when suddenly a three inch long grasshopper jumped on my arm. I tried brushing it off but its suction feet held fast. I then with all my might smacked the creature as hard as I could and it finally flew away. The trauma of that incident remained embedded in my brain even until this day as a young married adult.
But I kept on trimming that bush, starting from the top on down, and then moving over a little at a time towards the other side. By the time I was finished with my job; my husband was home from work. He came out to see what I was doing and was quite proud to see the rose bush trimmed and looking so nice. Of course my husband didn't understand my phobia. I mean, no one really did. As he approached me I turned around to show him what a great job I had done. But when I turned to walk towards the bush my husband called me back. He said to me, "Don't move." And he proceeded to remove something from my back. Of course I hollered, "What is it?" But he would not tell me. He said, "Nothing, don't worry about it," and continued to praise my work some more. Because I was an intelligent human being and not the stupid nave girl he obviously thought I was I knew he had just taken a grasshopper off my back. Although I will never know for sure, being 99% convinced, that was the last day I ever did gardening. It wasn't long before I had the bush removed as well as every other small bush and tree in both yards. My husband and I have a rule; if he desires to see beauty growing in the yards, he must not only plant the flowers, he must take care of them also. Don't get me wrong. I love flowers growing in an open field. I have also been to flower gardens that have taken my breath away. I would give anything to line my front walk with purple, violets and blues; but until God decides to send all the grasshoppers to another country, which mind you, I pray for daily, I will stick to the indoors where I know I am safe and sound; not from dogs, not from snakes or lizards, not even from criminal ax murderers, but I am safe from those long, brown, ugly, creatures called grasshoppers.

Extraordinary Getaway

When was the last time you and your spouse embarked on a magical journey together? So long ago you can't recall exactly when? Does life seem so busy and hectic that a vacation is absolutely out of the question? In your crazy hustle bustle world time away with your spouse must be a top priority. With so much pressure from the outside world to succeed and prosper it is easy to find yourself preoccupied all the time with what you think needs to be done. No time is given to what's really important; your spouse. So what are you waiting for? Clear your schedule and set a date to put your wife on the pedestal where she deserves.
Randonnee offers self guided tours in cycling, walking, hiking, multi-sport, cross country skiing, and active driving. Available in Canada, France, Ireland, Italy, Spain or maybe you want to stay local taking a cycling tour through the Napa Valleys in California. Maybe a journey through canyons and national parks in Utah is more your style. Whatever your secret vacation desire, make sure to plan a trip alone just the two of you. Begin developing the quality your relationship desperately deserves by sharing one on one alone time together. Every couple needs a relationship re-charge. Randonnees experience offers just the boost your relationship needs.
A self guided tour offers you flexibility. You can plan your trip with ease knowing that you pick the time, the date and place but the details are taken care of by the experts. Each trip is prepaid. You choose from a list of hand picked Bed and Breakfast Inns or quaint little motels. Each day your suitcases are transported for you from one destination to the next. So you never have to carry any luggage around. You are given a detailed road map with quality cafs and picnic areas already mapped out for you. You choose the place where the two of you can share a romantic meal together or just to stop for a soda along the way. Meticulous instructions, maps and tips are included in your Randonnee package to make your trip as carefree as possible.
Because your tour is self guided there are no guides or groups keeping you back or slowing you down. Peddle through the back roads and stop at your leisure to enjoy the view of a flowing river or the sun beating down upon a lake. Maybe this doesn't sound like your type of excursion but remember any time invested into your spouse is a profitable venture. Your sacrifice will not return to you void.

How To Purchase A Mrs. Beasley Doll

How to Purchase a Mrs. Beasley Doll:
Purchasing an antique or vintage item takes a little research but for the person determined, finding a vintage doll is easy. Purchasing a Mrs. Beasley Doll is only as difficult as the resources available, and nowadays the resources for vintage toys are endless. When searching for your Mrs. Beasley doll, try a few of the suggested resources and soon you too will own a vintage collectible Mrs. Beasley doll.

Instructions:
Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You'll Need:
Internet Yellow Pages Newspaper

Purchase a Mrs. Beasley Doll
Step 1:
Type into your Internet web browser the link for Ebay; the most popular Internet resource for just about anything. Once the homepage for Ebay loads, type into the search box "Mrs. Beasley Doll." If anyone, anywhere, has a vintage Mrs. Beasley doll listed, the listing will come up. Each seller will have their own cost and buying instructions.
Step 2:
Search through the yellow pages of your local phone directory for antique stores. Mrs. Beasley dolls are considered antique or vintage and might be found sitting on the shelf in an antique shop. Call the numbers listed in the phone book first to inquire whether or not a doll is available. A phone call can save you driving time.
Step 3:
Check with some of your local coin stores. You would be amazed at what a coin collector also collects. Most coin stores sell all types of collectibles so don't just search for antiques in antique stores.
Step 4:
Call around to some of the local consignment stores. People who understand the value of their Mrs. Beasley doll might have one for sale in a consignment shop. The owner might price the doll high, but usually not as high as they are priced in an antique shop.
Step 5:
Don't forget to check out the local garage sales. Garage sales are great for finding rare treasures like a Mrs. Beasley doll. if you do happen to find a doll at a garage sale, it's usually there because the owner has no idea of the dolls value, or the owner just doesn't care. The best price for a collector doll will usually be found at a garage sale.
Step 6:
Read through listings found in the newspaper. Check daily to see if someone has listed a Mrs. Beasley doll for sale. And make sure to check out online Internet newspaper listings as well. Craigslist is a great place too search for items, and listings can be posted and read all over the United States.

Tips & Warnings
No matter what avenue you choose to buy your Mrs. Beasley doll, call ahead to make sure a doll is availabe. This serves two purposes. If a doll is available, the owner can put it aside for you. If there isn't a doll, the owner can take your name and information and contact you if a doll is located.

Always make sure your Mrs. Beasley doll is authentic before making a purchase. There are a great number of fakes and counterfeits posing as real. Know what you are looking for before you begin your search so you are not caught off guard when approached with a fake. Discover the different ways of telling a fake from a real to spare yourself the heartache of a scam artisit.

God's Grace

I remember growing up as a believer. But I was a powerless Christian. I attended Church from the age of eight. I wanted to be well behaved like all the other boys and girls in my Sunday school class but my behavior was just the opposite. I had a foul mouth and an anger problem from a young age. As I grew into adolescence the anger intensified and depression developed. I watched as the kids from my Church sat and ate lunch together engaging in cheerful camaraderie but I felt guilty joining them because I spent my weekends at parties drinking beer and smoking pot. I felt miserable most of the time. I wanted the joy my friends displayed but I honestly didn't know how to get it. It seemed like every time I tried to be like them I fell flat on my face.
After high school I became a college dropout, got pregnant then got married in that order. I had three children by the age of 22 and I was divorced by age 24. That long hall of sadness mixed with rage grew longer every day. I knew God was with me because I was taught that He was but I couldn't feel Him. I never doubted God's existence, what I doubted was myself. I remember Bible study with a group of women who taught that Jesus was not God and that's what I believed. How could God's son be God? My friends from Church said, "Lacy, be careful." But they didn't know what they were talking about. These were great people with a sound doctrine and I liked the time we spent together in the Word. But the Holy Spirit was working in my spirit because I went to the Bible bookstore and bought eight different books on the reasons why this certain group of believers were wrong. During my reading I did an awesome study of the trinity, the eyes of my heart were enlightened and all of a sudden I knew who God was. It was such an amazing revelation I couldn't wait to share it with my study group friends, but they weren't as happy as I was and our meetings came to an end. My relationship with God continues growing stronger everyday but character transformation is a process. I didn't come to the realization of who God was and all of a sudden walk into newness of life. I was smoking, drinking, fornicating and partying practically everyday. I was still very angry and depressed and after the divorce extreme loneliness set in. I finally knew who God was but now He had to change me. God said in His Word He would transform me by the renewing of my mind and He began that day. But the manifestation of that transformation is still taking place. I applaud those who accept Jesus in their hearts and are instantly new creatures. I believe this really does happen to some, but it did not happen this way for me. Although I felt his presence and am convinced I was saved, that salvation took awhile to manifest in my life. The hardest part about life for me was trusting in God to take care of my needs. I had grown so accustomed to worrying about everything I had no idea how I was suppose to lay my cares at His feet. The worries and concerns of life is why I drank, smoked, overate and looked for new relationships continually. I used these vices to escape responsibility. I abused substances to dull the pain of a harsh reality. But as I practiced letting go of the problems and allowing God to take care of them for me and as I saw Him actually working in my life I found I no longer needed the substances I craved. One nasty bad habit at a time disappeared and I can honestly say today I am free at last.

Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades!

Neverending, your glory goes beyond all fame. Lord, the cry of my heart is to give you praise; from the inside out, Lord my soul cries out, to you!
Sometimes my love for God is so great I can't contain it.
There are days like today when everything looks bad in the natural yet my soul feels like it will explode in love and adoration.
Can God be so great to cause an excitement within me that permeates all sound reason? I say yes.
Thank you God for being greater than all my circumstances. Thank you God for loving my children more than I do. Thank you God for choosing me a home and making it possible for me to obtain. Sometimes it is impossible without the loving hand of God. Thank God nothing is impossible for Him.
I will walk in the blessing. I will walk in the light. I will stand on the Word, and I will prevail.

Strong Willed Stubborn Children

There is definitely a difference in some babies temperaments, and they start as early as a year old, maybe even earlier in some cases. I sit and watch her as she falls to the floor, arches her back, screams like she is dying, and I ask myself, "Bipolar?" I know she's okay, because she is. Maybe her teeth hurt, I'm not sure. But what to do with her? I don't remember when my children were small, and my first grand daughter didn't throw such tantrums, so what to do about it? I'm told she is extremely intelligent and it's only her brilliance kicking into overdrive, I think, "Little demon?" Possibly. I guess if she were my own I'd deal with her differently, but she's not mine, she's my step grand daughter. What a title. It is a different relationship than my own blood grand daughter, although as she ages we get closer. I was afraid when she was a baby I'd never bond with her the same, and maybe it will never be exactly the same, but it is good. I know she loves me. And that's important. I need to know she feels safe. I want her to run into the room when she is 3 and yell, "Grandma." Because to her I am grandma. Too children there is no step or blended family. Too children we are all just there caregivers, given to make sure they are fed, changed, and loved. I can do that. But oh, wouldn't it be so much easier if she would quit screaming every time I said no. Oh well. I will love her anyway.

Working With Special Education

I work in the school district as an instructional aide for special education children. I never had a desire ever for this type of work and only landed in the position by accident, but I have to admit, it has been one of my favorite jobs. Special needs children are remarkable. They are loving, kind, funny, caring, needy, and just plain awesome to be around. I actually prefer the high school students over elementary. I enjoy watching them live to the best of their ability. Of course some have greater skill capacity than others, but all have their own special gifts and talents. Today, one boy, very autistic, no language, grabbed a chunk of my hair and held on for dear life. He was troubled about something and I could see the fire in his eyes. Known for biting I called out for help and when the other aide came over and asked what she should do, I just as calm as ever said, "tickle him." I really don't know where that came from but that was the response he elicited in me. I didn't want to hit him, or smack him across the room. I turned it into a game and he let go of my hair.

Personality Change

My niece, Marie, 12 years old, came to stay with my mom for a week. During that time I hung out with them. We went to Santa Barbara on a train. We shopped til we dropped. We saw a few movies and we went swimming with my grand daughter Polly. Marie was on her best behavior. She was out to please. But at the end of the week when her mom drove out to pick her up, Marie's whole personality changed. She became a whiner, a martyr, a victim, and annoying. I could not believe the difference in her personality. It was actually quite interesting. I have always said that children behave differently when they are around their parents, but Marie is 12 years old. Shouldn't she be over it by now? It is sad to watch children nowadays take advantage of their parents; driving their parents crazy, acting like a 2 year old. They might as well lay on the floor, kicking and screaming. But, isn't the reality, they learn it from us? Aren't we as parents, aunts, and grandmothers, the role models? We are the ones who need to grow up. We need to quit manipulating the system. We think we are mature and yet it is us grownups who are always whining, complaining, crying, and throwing miserable self pity parties. The sad fact is, kids learn it from us. I learned a lot from Marie during that day. I will try to set a better example.

Buying a Mobile Home & Happy About It

Well, the house search has ended with the purchase of a mobile home. Who would have thought? And in a senior park even. (My husband turns 55 next month and even though I am only 45, it doesn't matter. Only one resident has to be a senior.) I favored a mobile home for its simplicity. My husband wanted a house for resale value. I can't imagine spending the rest of my already busy life cleaning a house and doing yard work. Doesn't he know I work at home? Who has time for house maintenance when there is so much money to be made online. Men! Anyway, we didn't qualify for a house. So we had no other choice. I got what I wanted by default. And I am very, very happy!

It's hard not to worry!

Seems like every morning I wake up to fight thoughts of fear. It seems like every person in my life gives me a reason to be afraid. I know if I jump out of bed proclaiming God and how great He is, I can change my thoughts from fear into faith. I know this. So why do I wake up some mornings and give into my fearful thoughts? I had three calls from Joshua's girlfriend telling me she can't find him anywhere. I know he he is at risk. Who couldn't know that. Watch him after a few hours without a beer. He can't talk, he looks dazed, he starts sweating; it is the craziest thing I have ever seen and dealt with in my life; an alcoholic. My son has shed new light on alcoholism and the disease. I was told once that if you lock up 30 alcoholics in one room and 30 drug addicts in another, in the morning you will have 30 very angry drug addicts and 30 dead alcoholics. I believe it now. God please protect my son and heal his body. It has gotten to the point where only you can help him. Nothing any one can do will be enough; only you Lord.

Exterior Wood Shutters

Let your creative mind capture the essence of excellence and beauty by embellishing your exterior windows with shutters. Who would have thought that something as simple as a window treatment could create the appearance of a home found nestled in the backwoods down a windy road? You know the look; the house that takes your breath away? The house that screams, "Buy me!" Shutters, as old a concept as apple pie, if done right, can be that one extra addition to your home that says, "That's it!"; the one final ingredient that ties it all together. Following a few simple guidelines you too can marvel at the magnificence of a new set of wood shutters.
Shutters come in many shapes and sizes as well as colors and textures. Buying the right shutter is not always easy. Do your homework and shop around. There is a certain shutter made just for your home and with the proper due diligence you will find it. Do not settle for less than the absolute best. Your home always deserves quality.
Choosing your shutter material will take some research. Choosing wood shutters has the added benefit of prestige. There is a difference between pre-colored vinyl and paintable vinyl versus paintable wood. Wood shutters have a lot more character. Wood shutters can be stained showing their natural wood grain.
The size of your pocketbook will determine which type of wood shutter you can afford. If you have a plastic injection mold pocketbook, pine, or poplar would be the less expensive choice. Cedar and redwood have the advantage of aging well. If you do nothing to them, they get better looking. Old barns in the 1800's were built out of cedar and redwood. Today they do not tear these barns down, they disassemble them, resurface the wood, and resale it. You can stain or use lacquer on redwood and cedar, or put it up as natural wood.
Out in nature, redwood without a seal gets very dark and often obtains black streaks. Western cedar will turn a very pretty fox gray. Whatever route you choose, you are sure to find the shutters with the exquisite appearance you are searching for. With so many choices, you are bound to come out a winner.
To increase the lifespan of your shutters do an annual inspection to ensure the product quality does not lapse over time. Checking for cracks, splits, rot, or any other type of damage will allow you to mend the problem quickly before it gets out of hand. If your shutters are stationary remove them every few years and inspect the backsides.
Staining your shutters, which reveals their natural wood, lasts a lot longer than paint. Although a beautiful coat of white paint looks great against your homes white panel board, you will surely need to repaint those shutters every now and then. It is up to you to determine how much the appearance of your home is worth. For a great looking home, a little hard work every once in a while, is always the best option.
Exterior shutters could be the difference between elegant and adequate. Why not go the extra distance and really spruce it up. Add a few wood shutters to your home dcor and soon you'll own the house that screams, "Buy me." Add a touch of country charm or a rugged woodland appeal, then sit back and relax at a job well done.

Ideas for improving the United States education system

Rapidly declining moral standards are partly to blame for the breakdown in our education system. Not just with the students but with the parents and teachers as well. Because we are the melting pot of the world we have more and more of an influx of different nationalities coming into our country. The language barrier grows wider and wider as the new people come in but, the real issue is not the communication obstacle, it is our lack of family morals, values and ethics.
Let's start with the family and create higher moral standards. Families with strong values create ambitious, creative, career minded students. Peaceful homes give children clear minds to think with. How can a child concentrate in school after dad just cursed out mom because the laundry wasn't done?
Kids are too angry these days and parents are at fault. It isn't about a certain religion, race, creed, color or nationality it is about a lack of careful, concerned, considerate, compassionate and caring parents. It starts in the home.
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We can't blame it on the outsiders anymore. Our country is the one known for freedom of speech, free will, and fight for what you think is right regardless of how it affects your neighbor. We rid of prayer in the schools because Bill doesn't believe in Jesus. We get rid of the pledge of allegiance because Alice doesn't believe in God. We take out the Ten Commandments and the crosses because Harold is offended. Yet if you go to Japan or other countries they don't tolerate this kind of division.
It seems other countries put their foot down to intruders. They keep the children focused on education, ethics and values and they force those who oppose to stay out of the way. They have a government people might not agree with but they show respect towards. Here we have politicians openly slandering our president on television. Children are not shown respect for elders or how to get along.
They watch adults fight, argue, and strive to disagree. We are their role models yet we fail to model anything desirable. We want our children to go to school and get good jobs yet we are lazy. Americans want top dollar for working less hours. We want to find the get rich quick scheme that will afford us a life of luxury and early retirement. Kids need to see us acting like dynamic members of society if they are ever going to become productive citizens themselves.
Children are like sponges. They soak up knowledge in the first six years of life faster than any year after that. It is important to teach them when they are young how to properly behave when they are older. We've all heard the proverb, train up a child in the way he should go and when he us old he will not depart from it, but we are training them in all the wrong information.
They see us drink, smoke, divorce, steal, covet, argue and boast about how great we are. Children need to see humility and love. They need us to teach values and morals, good work ethics and how to treat our neighbors as ourselves. It is amusing to see all the wasted time children spend trying to get better from their childhood almost as if they are healing from an epidemic. Why can't we spare them countless years of therapy by being the responsible people we should be now while they depend on us.

Flirting is an art. Flirting the proper way can be a challenge. As long as you flirt with all the right intentions, the receiver of your flirtation is not likely to be led on. Leading a person on by improper flirting is prone to disaster. Paying attention to your manner of flirting will help you avoid giving off the wrong impression and save you countless hours of explaining at home.

Never stare into the eyes of the opposite sex unless your plans are to take that person home. Staring into someones eyes says far more to them than any words could express. If you have a flirtatious personality, and some people do, when you are conversing with someone you are not interested in, occasionally look away. Staring into their eyes is leading them on so avoid the mutual gaze at all cost.

Do not touch or put your hands on the body of a person you are talking to unless you plan to give off the wrong signal. Physical contact of any kind can lead a person on. If you are having a discussion with a member of the opposite sex and your motive is completely platonic, hands off. It is amazing how much energy flows from one person to another just by a simple touch of the hand. If you do not want to lead someone on keep your hands to yourself.

Don't go searching for acceptance from the opposite sex unless you're looking for a relationship. If your self esteem is so low that you desperately seek attention from anyone who will notice you, you are definitely setting yourself up for trouble. If your wife doesn't seem to be interested in your latest accomplishment, don't run out and tell the bank teller. She will definitely get the wrong impression and think you are leading her on. Why else would you be sharing your life with her? Women love men who communicate. If your wife won't listen to you, call your mother.

Never hover over a home repairman who is fixing your toilet when your husband is gone. Never invite the gardener in for a glass of water. Stay as far away from the pool man as you can. A man might know you are married, he might even know your husband, but if you give him the wrong impression by hanging around while he is working, it will be your fault when he makes an inappropriate move. Innocent flirting is never without consequence. You might not be interested in him, but that won't stop him from becoming interested in you. If the plumber is under your sink, go pull weeds from the garden.

Pay attention. Know the company you keep. People come from many different backgrounds. Talking to one person in one way might prove a total disaster with someone else. A man right out of a relationship might be looking for a rebound. He might hear a flirtation in your voice that leads him on, that you never meant to give. A woman whose husband is having an affair might latch onto the smallest hope of interest. Just be careful who you talk to and the manner in which you converse.

If you know you tend to flirt, why not tell the person up front. Giving a heads up to the one you are talking to will protect you if your flirting gets out of hand. Laying down the ground rules will prevent an innocent person from becoming a victim of your overly friendly personality.

Flirting only leads to trouble. Be careful. Leading someone on can lead to a potential fatal attraction. Giving someone the wrong impression could turn around and bite you in the backside. If you have a flirtatious personality and you can't help it, it might be best just to keep your mouth shut.

Replacing your roof.

So many roofing choices available; but where to begin? This is where the contractor comes in handy. A quality conscious, certified, contractor/roofer has the answers to your roofing questions. Use his expertise.

Start by choosing the proper roofing material for your home, remembering that most cities require a roof pitch of at least 3 to 12 for using shingles or shakes. A lower roof pitch requires alternate roofing material such as; tar & gravel, bitumen and roll roofing.

Although roof shingles are by far the most attractive, they do not properly seal. Shingles on a low pitch roof will leak. Unless you are planning on sealing the roof first with a rubber roofing material or a peel and stick adhesive, it's best to stay away from shingles.
With that said, most homes have a higher pitch, so shingles and shakes are acceptable.

When driving down a street it is the beautiful cedar shake rooftops you'll notice. If you have a contractor who specializes in quality, the life expectancy of a shingle roof can be anywhere from 20 to 40 years.

One of the best shingle roofing materials is the asphalt composition shingle. These shingles are made of an organic or fiberglass base with a topcoat of asphalt, covered with minerals, for weather resistance. This shingle comes in a wide variety of colors to fit any aesthetic need, and the great thing about asphalt shingles is they can be overlaid with new shingles as long as the initial layer remains in good condition.

With so many roofing material options available it is important to do your homework. Don't be fooled into the first plan of action you receive. Make sure to get several opinions from different contractors. Obtaining advice on material and contractors from your local hardware store is a highly recommended suggestion.

Lacy Enderson

How to fix a sloping floor.

When deciding how to fix a sloping floor one must know a few things. First; is the slope occurring in a slab or a raised foundation? Second, different methods are used depending on how far out of level the floor slopes. It is highly advised to find a contractor who is suited to answer floor sloping questions. This isn't a project one should try to repair on one's own. Expertise in this area is vitally important.
In a slab, if the floor isn't greatly out of level, the problem can be rectified with a self leveling concrete. This substance is poured into the given area. This method alone will level the floor. No additional work is required. Consider yourself fortunate if your problem is rectified by this procedure. Other procedures can be a lot more costly and difficult.
If a slab floor is greatly out of level, due to a possible unstable earth, the best way for leveling is quite expensive but works well; it is a concrete injection leveling system called Hydraulic Mud Jacking. You take the low areas of the floor, drill holes in the slab, pump concrete into the holes, which pushes the slab up to the proper level. This procedure is done by an authorized company specializing in raising floor slabs who also own the proper leveling instruments. This unfortunately is not a method one can do on one's own. There are other methods used, such as the screw jack, but the two mentioned above are the most popular.
If you are fortunate enough to have a raised foundation you will find raising the floor to level is a lot cheaper than raising a slab, not easier just less expensive. Because a raised foundation has crawl space underneath bottle jacks can be used to raise the house. Depending on the size of the house, single or double story, bottle jacks of different weights are used. They come in varying weights from a few tons to sixty tons.
After raising the house, objects such as shims are used under the structure where the floor needs raising to offer height. After removing the jacks the structure can then lowered onto the added supports. Depending on how much the house needs to be raised will determine how many shims are used.
Whether your home has a slab or a raised foundation, there is a solution for a sloping floor. Some solutions are easier, some are less expensive, but with the help of your local contractor you can come up with the right solution for your situation.

First time home buyer!

How great is that? My husband and I are buying a house. We are buying a house at the perfect time. It seems that every house around me has dropped down to the prices they were at five years ago just so I can buy my first house. I find it kind that everyone saw fit to give up all their equity just for me. I am very excited. We put an offer on a house and went into escrow today. Of course we still have to submit loan papers and every other document known to mankind, but the fact that my husband is a veteran and we have a 0 down is what makes this possible. Not only do we benefit from a CalVet loan, because my husband is 100% military service connected, we do not pay a funding fee and no property taxes. That saves us a minimum of $500.00 on our house payment. I am jazzed to say the least. I actually thought we would never be able to buy a house. Especially here in Simi valley where the fixer uppers were going for $550,000. But God has shed His mercy on us. We just made an offer on a great house for $399,000. Now I call that sweet. I will keep you posted.

Book Review: The Glass Menagerie

"The Glass Menagerie" is portrayed best as a collection of symbols used to add meaning to the overall theme of the play. Different meanings are given to the fire escape, Jim, the glass menagerie, the unicorn, blue roses, rainbows, religion, lighting, and music. Paying close attention, one can see the relationship between each symbol and the authors own life.
Glimpsing into the life of a family during the pre-war depression era presents objects, characters, and figures as symbols and imagery, expressing escape techniques, as well as hopeful aspirations, for those who are constantly left with bitter disappointment. The play, "The Glass Menagerie," by Tennessee Williams, is a memory play filled with remarkable use of symbols to portray the destruction and failure of hopes and dreams.
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The fire escape, in the play, is the entrance to the Wingfield's apartment. It is symbolic and carries a different meaning for each character. To Tom, the fire escape represents a way out of his unfortunate reality and an escape from his fiery frustrations. He longs to step out into a better world. Frequently Tom steps out onto the fire escape to smoke, symbolizing the first step towards freedom. Smoking also calms his nerves. Tom is suffocating in the apartment. His desperation intensifies as he craves a separation from his mother.
For Laura, the fire escape leads the way into a safe haven. Laura longs to be inside of the apartment protected from the world. The fire escape offers one way in or out. Laura's refuge is found inside. An interesting scene shows Laura stumbling on her way out to run an errand for her mother. Her fall symbolizes her weakness and frailty as she attempts to leave her comfort zone.
The fire escape is also symbolic of Amanda's desire to find a partner for her daughter. As Jim enters into the apartment through the fire escape, Amanda's hopes elevate and she grows increasingly excited about her daughter's prospective husband. Of course when she finds out Jim is engaged, her dreams crumble and she feels disappointed. To Amanda, the fire escape is an escape from the fear of Laura's desolate future. She worries her daughter will die an old maid. Her dreams include the hope that some young man will come through the door and sweep Laura off her feet.
Another symbol used in the play is the character Jim. To Laura, Jim represents her fear of reality. Jim is a common man and somewhat awkward with a passion for technology. Upon entering the Wingfield's dysfunctional apartment, Jim represents one of the glass animals, stationary and static. Jim soon realizes he must get back into the world which is constantly changing. Staying in the stagnant apartment is too depressing for Jim, and he declares his engagement to another woman and leaves.
To Amanda, Jim is a reminder of her younger days when handsome men would come to call on her. Amanda spends most of her time living in the past. This keeps her distanced from her reality. Jim is Amanda's object of hope. Jim represents Amanda's youth.
The glass menagerie is a collection of glass animals which represents all the characters as a whole, and has symbolic meaning for each character individually. The fragile glass symbolizes Laura. She is delicate, frail, weak, and easily broken. "The glass menagerie itself embodies the fragility of Laura's world" (Bloom 11). The frailty of her private world leads her to hide away from reality. Laura is depicted as one who has a full imagination and unrealistic ideas. She suffers from a physical and emotional handicap. Her glass animals are unreal too.
The glass figurines, which are unmoving, symbolize Amanda's need to create for Laura a thrilling life as she had once experienced. "Amanda soon reveals herself as a symbol of a devouring woman" (Tischler 33). She lives to intervene on behalf of her children, regardless of their desire for her to stop.
Another symbolic object in the play is the glass unicorn. The glass unicorn sits on a shelf surrounded by glass horses. Laura states that the unicorn is content amongst the more normal animals. Just as Laura understands her differences, she claims neither her nor the unicorn complain. After Jim reveals to Laura his engagement, the horn of the unicorn accidentally breaks off. This symbolizes that Laura too is becoming more normal, less shy. The unicorn loses its uniqueness and so does Laura.
Once noticed as the black sheep amongst all the other high school students, Laura realizes she really isn't that much different from the rest. When Jim kisses Laura and then tells her about his engagement, it breaks her heart and leaves her feeling more like everyone else. Broken as the unicorn's horn, she gives the unicorn to Jim which symbolizes her leaving him with part of her broken heart.
The blue roses in the play are also symbolic. The author's sister, whom the character of Laura is based, is named Rose. In High School Jim's nickname for Laura was blue roses "because it sounded like the word pleurisy, the illness that kept Laura from school for a spell" (Leiter 232). As roses are not ordinarily blue, Jim alludes to Laura that she is no ordinary girl. Laura acknowledges that the color blue is wrong for a flower, however, she accepts the name for herself as one who is unique. Roses are beautiful but not blue, just as Laura is a real woman, yet far too frail to be considered as one.
Rainbows have symbolic meaning in the play. Rainbows are known as objects of hope, yet somehow each depiction of a rainbow represents a less than hopeful situation. High expectations end up in disastrous disappointment for the characters. After spending time at a magic show Tom comes home with a rainbow colored scarf that turns goldfish into canaries. These birds fly away, just as Tom wishes he could. Even though Tom eventually leaves the house, he is haunted by memories of his mother and worry for his sister.
Another depiction of rainbows is seen in the chandeliers at the dance hall. These rainbow prisms foreshadow the dance that Laura and Jim share in her room. Although the dance is filled with hope, Laura's dreams are quickly shattered. Light shining down on the glass menagerie creates a rainbow of colors representing the beauty hidden inside Laura as she hides from the world.
In the play, Amanda practices Christian rituals, yet both of her children detest her hypocrisy. Their mother pretends to be a believer, but treats them with disrespect and selfishness. Tom and Laura are not Christians. The only time Tom uses Christian expressions is in blasphemy. Before eating, Amanda encourages the saying of grace, but the children each interrupt the prayer, Tom in scene one and Laura in scene six.
The music heard in the background, as Laura confesses dropping out of school, is "Ave Maria." This song symbolizes her pitiful feelings. Jim symbolizes the savior for Laura and Amanda. Waiting for Jim's arrival, both women dress ceremonial-like, and the scene is titled "Annunciation." The dress Amanda takes from the trunk is termed "resurrected." The women prepare fish for dinner. In the beginning of scene four, a deep voice church bell is heard ringing. After Jim kisses Laura, the stage direction informs the audience that "The holy candles in the altar of Laura's face have been snuffed out" (Cooper 627).
Lighting techniques in the play are used to create imagery. During each scene the lights are used to portray certain moods and tones. The lights symbolize hope as does the rainbow. But each hope is quickly shattered. During one of the scenes when Amanda and Tom quarrel, some of Laura's glass collection gets broken. The audience sees one solitary ray of light shining down upon Laura's face, showing her disappointment and sorrow. The light symbolizes Laura's grief.
Amanda tells Tom to make a wish. The audience sees a small light from the moon symbolizing Tom's hope for the wish to come true. A few times in the play there is a blackout. The darkness is used to symbolize the transitions from hope to pain. Flickering candle lights portray wavering between hope and disappointment. The main lights flickering portray lightning.
"Tennessee Williams's keen appreciation of the power of music to create atmosphere and define character is evident throughout his canon" (McCraw 763). Music is used to emphasize themes and enhance drama. Sometimes the music is heard only by the audience and not the characters. In a few scenes, music is played as part of the action and provides explanation on what is taking place in the play. The song, The Glass Menagerie, written for the play, is heard when Laura comes to the front of the stage with her glass menagerie and when Laura speaks of her mother's fear that she will die an old maid. Laura drowns out her mother's disapproval by playing old phonograph records left by her father when he abandons the family. While Tom dreams of escaping his dreary life, sad music is heard from the dance hall.

Off the desert highway!

My husband and I planned a great trip that I easily could have missed. The destination was my grandma's house in Albuquerque. We organized the trip months in advance. I confirmed that we would drive straight to New Mexico from California through Arizona making no stops along the way. I wanted to spend all of my vacation with my grandma. Prior to departure my husband laid out a map and put a big circle around the Grand Canyon. He loves historical landmarks. I have no interest in them at all. We exchanged a few stern words and again agreed the trip would proceed directly as planned.
Along the way the unpredictable weather had our attention. Off in the distance up in the sky dark clouds covered the horizon. We could see nothing past the blackness up ahead. The sun shining brightly in the sky quickly disappeared as we were ushered right into the middle of a powerful rain storm. Fear mixed with silent apprehension as we slowed down. After a few minutes of blinding rain we exited this darkness to immerge once again into bright sunny skies. Passing through four heavy downpours had my heart beating.
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I like the desert. My perfect vacation is a drive through the wilderness. I see the beauty in tall mountains surrounded by endless colors of rustic browns. At night in the desert where the sky meets the road the stars appear so close I feel as if I could reach out and grab them with my hands. I want nothing hindering the spectacular vision before me. Tall trees only block my view.
Arriving at a little town in Arizona called Williams we stopped at a gas station to inquire about a room for the night. Inside my husband noticed a brochure advertising the Grand Canyon. He asked the attendant how long the drive would be. She said to follow the road north for 45 minutes. My husband quickly turned to look at me with an inquiring gaze. I shook my head and said I had no interest in seeing the Grand Canyon, but I would leave it up to him to decide.
All of a sudden a curious place of anxiety started stirring within me. I found myself excited at the possibility of finally seeing this natural wonder. I felt amazed that we were actually so close. When my husband looked at me and said, "You have got to see the Grand Canyon," I did not argue.
Highway 64 owned a unique sense. Passing by forests of tall ponderosa pines and junipers offered a vision of beauty. The smell of the sage brush in the air brought a truly sensational feeling of serenity that encompassed my whole being. I found myself completely immersed in what I had tried so hard to avoid.
Favoring mountains and desert is acceptable but I had denied myself the splendor of the woodlands. I made a decision at that moment to allow myself a life full of new and exciting opportunities. I was ready to break out of the mold and seek novel and different locations. Creating memories I could relive forever became an important concept. And to think I hadn't even arrived yet at our destination. The exhilaration of the Grand Canyon somewhere up ahead heightened the closer we got.
I read somewhere that the approach to the Grand Canyon gives no hint of what awaits. That reference is an absolute understatement. Driving up to the canyon I felt a sense of awe like I had never felt before. Looking over into this vast mountain abyss left me speechless. I sat gazing at the enormity of this amazing creature. The depth and the scope of the size were beyond my comprehension.
Driving from one ridge to the next, peering out over each edge, I felt weightless and all fear of heights vanished. Although each range had a similar appearance every view was spectacular. I had never seen anything like the Grand Canyon before and I was convinced I never would. It was definitely one of the most beautiful and magnificent sites I have ever seen. And to think I almost missed it.

Aging Gracefully

I remember growing up and thinking 50 was old. I guess everyone seemed old when I was a child. Now that I am 45, there is nothing old about me. Sure, I have a few more aches and pains than I had at age 20, but I feel good. I get up early every morning and walk my treadmill for thirty minutes. I try to eat right during the day so I can have chocolate for dessert at night. I work for the school district with kids so I am forced into youth related activities. Actually, I like my age and I would not trade it down for anything. Age is in the eye of the beholder. I prefer to see the aging process as an exciting adventure. Who knows what God has in store for my future? Only when I get older will I see His plans unfold.
Although God did not design old age from the beginning, He uses old age for our good purpose. As we age we grow more dependent on Him. As our bodies grow older we are forced to slow down. Old age is an optimum time to spend studying God’s Word, spending time in prayer or participating in social groups with other people of the same age. During middle age life is filled to capacity with work, family, chores, etc. There is little time to sit back and relax. Old age offers this luxury.
God’s best was eternity in the garden. His goal was to create perfect people who would love Him forever. But man failed. God’s plan was thwarted. Although His initial life span was forever, after the fall, He shortened lives. The ultimate deterioration of man required man to die younger. The effects of old age could not endure the length of life God originally planned. But that is when the message of salvation becomes so important. People afraid of dying need to hear about eternal life in heaven. Hopefully by old age, most people will know the Lord, but for those who don't, the message of heaven brings hope.
I attend a church of about sixty members. Most are over the age of 70. It has been a pleasure spending time with people who are the same ages and older than my parents. It is amazing how age becomes less of an issue the older we get. The couples we go to lunch with could be our grandparents. These people are vibrant, full of life, love the Lord, and as far as I can tell, never slow down. A few of the older men are crossing guards. After retirement they got jobs. They also attend weekly, retired men, breakfast meetings. They say they enjoy the fellowship with other retirees.
I am learning a lot from these elderly people about quality of life after retirement. I have yet to see a retired person lay down to die. Of course it would be different for those who do not know the Lord. Without a heavenly hope one could surely fear frailty. As a biblical counselor I would discuss Abraham and Moses and show the counselee how much they accomplished well into their old age. The Bible has quite a few good examples of average people doing extraordinary things in later life.
Accepting the aging process is vital to happiness. I often wonder just how old I will look at 60. My mom looks great for her age. She is 66. Yet she complains all the time about her neck and her eyes. I think her concern is because my dad passed away and she is dating again. I see a lot of older people growing old gracefully. I stare at them often. I find it fascinating that they can age like they do, in and around the face, and yet never seem to care. And if they do, they sure do not let on. I hope I too am free from vanity when I am old.
Lately there are many movie stars who look terrible because they could not allow themselves to age. It is sad to see older people trying to look young again. Plastic surgery is not a cure-all. Maybe the skin can be pulled and tightened, but the result is not always pretty. Some of these stars do not even look the same. I think it is a shame there is so much self-importance in people. Like I said, I hope I can humbly accept the aging process. Human nature wants to look good for as long as possible. I understand that. At 45 I thank God I look as good as I do. I just pray that people would focus more on the inside than the outside. Peace and joy come from a Spirit filled heart not a wrinkle-less face.
Nowadays seniors are doing more, longer. I see a lot of older people walking, and shopping, and just out and about. No longer is age 50 old. Age 70 is not even old. Recently at our church makeover, it was the 70 year olds that were tearing down drywall and sweeping. It was the 80 year olds wheeling the wheelbarrows full of debris to the trash containers. A few older men in my church took a two week drive up the coast. Three 80 year old men took a road trip and all three came back looking good as new. Of course their wives must have worried about them, we young folk did, but that is the amazing reality of the old lately, they do not just curl up on the sofa and die.
Growing old with financial security requires planning. When my father unexpectedly died at age 66 my mom was devastated. Not only did she lose her husband of 42 years, she lost her provider. My mom was a stay at home mom, and even after all four of her children left the house, she remained a housekeeper. My father was not prepared to die. He did not have any savings; his life insurance only covered the credit card debt. Lucky for my mom, her house was paid for. I would counsel all couples to begin financial preparations early. Why wait until old age creeps in and there isn't enough money to enjoy retirement? Or even enough money to live? Nobody expects a tragedy, but preparation, just in case, is highly advised.
My grandma, age 88, lives in New Mexico. We live in California. My mom lives alone in a three bedroom house. She has asked my grandma many times to come live with her. My grandma says she will never live with her kids. She has a small senior home with low rent. She says she would come to California and live in her own place, but California is too expensive. My mom has shared on several occasions she will never live with her kids. Instead of selling her home and downsizing, she says she must keep the equity locked into the house in case something ever happens to her. She says she never wants to be a financial burden on us. Of course my siblings and I think she is ridiculous; my grandma too. We feel family should be close to help each other.
Assisted living centers are springing up everywhere. For those who can afford the luxury, they are a perfect alternative to living on ones own, but most seniors cannot afford assisted living and must revert to lower grade homes. For the elderly who refuse to live with family or for those who have no family, choices of quality care are few. I personally would rather have my mom move in with me than to have her in some of the lower rated homes. Hopefully she will live a long, healthy life, never needing any outside help. We can only hope. As for my grandma, my mom worries about her, living so far away; if something should happen, her family would not be near enough to help.
If parents get to senile to make quality decisions on their own, children can make decisions for them. It is a good idea to sit down and discuss situations while parents and children can effectively communicate. The family can lay out ground rules for different scenarios. No one can predict the future health of any person. Some very healthy young people have died abruptly from heart attacks. Nothing should be discounted as a possibility. Every situation and possible solution must be discussed. It is one thing for a stubborn parent to refuse a room in a child’s home; it is another when a parent with Alzheimer’s has to move in. If proper planning is accomplished, there should be no surprises.
Getting old is a reality for everyone. No one can escape the aging process. What happens during old age is entirely up to the individual. Having a good perception makes a big difference. Planning and preparing financially, looking into possible housing needs, discussing the future with children, are all beneficial and can help make the aging process not only comfortable, but pleasant as well. Why waste what could be the most enjoyable years of one’s life? Everyone gets old, plan on it.

Quitting Smoking

The success rate for those trying to quit a bad habit is low. The enemy attacks our minds and bodies with such force we fail before we ever begin. He encourages filthy habits to fester within us. And he is good at using temptation to lure us back again.
Some addictions are mental and some are physical, but regardless, the withdrawal symptoms are tremendous. I have quit smoking many times. After a couple of days clean I always start smoking again.
I am miserable without my Nicotine. I instigate fights. I argue. I cry. I can't function. All because my body is crying out for the substance it craves. If I could go back in time I would never have started smoking in the first place. I tell teenagers, "The easiest way to quit, is to never start."
I'm not saying that bad habits can't be broken. I am saying that without God's help it is very difficult. Why do you think the twelve step programs are based on a power greater than we are? Left relying on our own power we are failures, to weak to succeed.
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Abstinence has to come from within. It is an inside job that comes from God's Spirit. If you face a battle of self will, and the lack of self control, turn it over to God. He wants to and will deliver you.
When I finally quit smoking for the very last time I was told to give myself permission to feel the feelings. Many times I tried to quit but I could not stand myself. I was moody and nasty and people couldn't stand to be around me.
I would convince myself that smoking was the easier softer way and I would be back to smoking again in days. I think the longest I went without a cigarette was 9 days. And then one day I knew it was time so I called nicotine anonymous and they walked me through the first two months.
They told me it was all right to have mood swings and if the people in my life loved me they would tolerate me through them. Well, with great endurance they did, and I quit. I haven't had a cigarette since and I don't want one.
Changes are hard. I don't like change. I like my world to go the same way every day. I have my comfort zone and I don't want any interference. But sometimes God has different plans. He can see into the future and he knows what's best for me. So I pray and ask Him to help me face the changes with confidence and courage.
I run on a schedule. I plan my life accordingly. I am not spontaneous. It doesn't matter what my schedule is as long as it is planned. This drives my family crazy. But I tell them, just give me at least a days notice and I will schedule it in. What is so difficult about that?
I remember when I quit smoking. I did not know what to do with myself. It seemed I always had a cigarette in my hand and now I didn't. It took me months to get over that habit. I think the change in my schedule was harder than the nicotine withdrawal.
Giving up alcohol was another big change. A friend told me to picture myself standing on the edge of a cliff with nowhere to go. My only option available was to wait on God. So I waited. And God provided comfort and solutions for every dilemma I faced.
I often wonder how people go through change and difficult times in life without God. I absolutely think I'd fall apart if God were not by my side. The circumstances would be completely unbearable. But God gives me peace and removes the fear. And He tells me everything is going to be all right.
One of the hardest changes I have gone through has been the loss of my father. Nothing could have prepared me for that change. Everything in my life changed when my father passed away. But, by the grace of God I have survived. Life is different. But I have adjusted. And the good thing is, I always do.
Using cigarette smoking as an example, I remember swearing I would take those cigarettes with me to the grave. I loved smoking and I was never going to quit. But having been a non smoker now for quite a few years I thank God everyday for taking the desire away from me. We kick and scream to avoid change even when it turns out to be the best thing that ever could have happened to us.

Women over 40

The Modern Woman has a world full of opportunities available to her. No longer is 40 over the hill; 40 is just the beginning. No longer is college reserved for the young, or a new career out of the question. New doors are opening everyday for women of all ages and the opportunities are endless.
A message to the Women of today:Don’t let anyone or anything hinder you from realizing your potential. Dream big and then go out and make that dream happen. Don’t let a poor self image keep you from obtaining your goals. Change the way you think about yourself. Fight for your life; you are worth it. And be patient with yourself. Sometimes change takes time; one day at a time. Take each day and conquer a particular goal; take one step each day towards the desire of your heart, and if you continue going forward, never giving up, eventually you will arrive; and the dream will become your reality.

Sticks and Stones Can Break My Bones and Words Hurt Too!

Emotional pain is hard to get rid of especially when you are emotionally weak. I have been called names that I wouldn't repeat to my worst enemy. I have been criticized and put down. I have been slandered and ridiculed.
I discovered that if I could transfer the emotional pain I was feeling to my body then my heart wouldn't hurt so bad. So I began hurting myself. I scratched my arms with my fingernails; I beat my head with my fists. I have even experienced such moments of insanity when I tore up my face like a desperate animal.
Self abuse is a lot like alcohol. They both numbed the pain. When my body was hurting, I couldn't feel the pain in my heart as intensely. The focus of my pain switched from one I could not control, to one I was responsible for. I was in control of self inflicted pain.
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I have since learned that nobody has the right to hurt me with words. I realize people can be hurtful. But more often than not it is because they are hurting also. It is not always about me. Sometimes it is about them and If I practice compassion I would be less offended.
God has given me an imaginary shield. It blocks the fiery darts of attack and the words don't penetrate my heart like they used to. I feel sorry for people who hurt others with their words. Only a monster could spit out such slander with no regret.
The Bible tells us; "Out of the abundance of the heart, a man speaks." If our hearts are not right, then our words will not be right either.
Be careful what you say. God spoke the world into existence. We give more power to the devil by the words of our mouths than in any other way. Let the words of your mouth be holy and acceptable, pleasing unto God. Quit speaking death and destruction over your circumstances and others. Start speaking life.
For example; let us say you get sober and you are very happy about it but you share with your friend how you don't think you will be able to stay sober long. That is speaking destruction over your life. If that is the way you truly feel than you might as well drink again. Learn to think positive and before long you'll be speaking it too.
The way I see it God made us all exactly how he wanted us to be. He molded us together into unique individuals from the time we were conceived. When we criticize one of God's children we are telling God we don't approve of his handiwork. But I didn't always understand this concept.
My sister was born with a long, ski slope nose. Looking back, it was actually cute and suited her. But she endured years of teasing and name calling. Children called her Pinnochio and asked if they could go skiing on her nose.
By the time she graduated from high school she had no self esteem, a weight problem and no idea how beautiful she really was. She quickly got a nose job to change the one thing she believed had gotten in the way of her happiness.
But people are mean. I was mean. I told my sister that her new nose didn't look right on her face. I told her it was better long than wrong. Luckily my sister didn't really care what I thought. She was quite happy with her new appearance and had become a wonderful person living a really neat life.
I have learned that people who have low self esteem put other people down. I suppose maybe that is why I felt the need to criticize my sister. Confidence in my self was never a strong point. In fact, I thought very little of myself for a very long time.
Examine yourself before you put others under a magnifying glass. Chances are, it is you with the problem.
Hiding behind a beer or a cigarette gave me false power. They were my security blanket for a poor self image. I remember drinking beer and smoking cigarettes and feeling stronger and more powerful than anyone. But it was only a front.
Deep inside I was weak and timid and deathly afraid of everyone. Today I still feel timid at times but I refuse to find liquid courage in a bottle. I am who I am and I have learned to be happy with that.

Alcohol Addiction

I was a slave to alcohol. Alcohol ran my life. It told me what I would do, and when I would do it. It told me how I would treat my husband and my kids. It was my master. I was its slave.
I tried desperately on a few occasions to run away from the alcohol, but it always found me. I would break the bottles of vodka and pour the cans of beer down the drain, but it would always show up again.
I lost my control over alcohol and my power of choice. I could no longer choose when I would drink and how much I would consume once I got started. Alcohol had a hold on me, a very tight hold.
If I could go to the grocery store and get out without buying alcohol, it was a miracle. I would walk in the door and begin the conversation with myself; "I can buy just one beer." "No! You don't need a beer." "Only one. One won't hurt." "No! You won't have just one, and you know it."
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The conversation went on until I left the store. Some days I would win. Other days, the alcohol was victorious. This was a daily battle. Until one day, God had mercy on me and removed the obsession to drink. Alcohol lost its control over me and the victory was mine. Today, I am a slave set free. I still have a master. His name is Jesus.
For the longest time after I got sober there were certain stores I could not go into. Stores where I frequently purchased alcohol became slippery places for me to go. Stores where I battled against the desire to drink carried far to many bad memories. It was best just to stay out of those places.
Today I don't have that problem. I can go anywhere and not be tempted. But it took awhile. In the beggining of your sobriety do yourself a favor and listen to yourself. You will know what to do.
Since I got sober it is extremely difficult for me to watch a loved one struggle with an addiction. Knowing what I went through and how hard it was for me to quit makes it that much harder for me to watch.
I know what it is like to be driven by addictive forces. I know how it feels to want to quit and then barely make it through the evening before giving in again. The same struggle goes on with food, drugs, pornography and pills. Any addiction has a driving force behind it. That is what makes it an addiction.
I am a people fixer. I want my loved ones set free...now! And yet I know there is nothing I can do about it. So I pray. I know God brings healing and deliverance. But I know is not always as easy as it seems. Getting sober can be hard. God wants to see those demons conquered. He wants my loved ones victorious over drugs and alcohol. But where do they begin?
The first step is willingness. If they are willing God will help them. If I treat my loved ones with kindness, compassion and prayer, I am doing the best I can. The rest has to be up to them.
What I want is to take them to a rehab or get them involved in a recovery program. I want them to experience the sanity I found in recovery with God. I want them set free to enjoy life or to be reasonably capable of making changes if they need to.
God, see their need. Hold them tight and let them know that you are with them ready and willing to help. And then God, please help me to step back and get out of your way.
God never gives up on you. God says He will love you and help you no matter what. So when you think you have failed one to many times for God to help you, think again. I must have tried 50+ times to quit drinking. God was there to help me with each failed attempt. He never gave up on me and He will never give up on you.

Alcohol: When Enough is Enough

God knew what I needed before I was ever created. Although He had better ideas of what he wanted for me, He knew I would fall and need His help. So He inspired the men of old to prepare a book called the Bible, showing me the provision of God, and His ability to deliver me from all my troubles.
Unfortunately I chose a different path. One in which I thought I'd have more fun. I allowed the lies and deceptions of the enemy and the world to crowd out what was right. And I suffered the consequences of my mistakes.
Going to parties and getting drunk was common for me. In high school I developed the nickname sleazy. Not because I was being taken advantage of, but because passing out all over people's houses and hanging on guys I didn't know set up a rather poor picture of me. The image they saw of me was exactly what I portrayed, a sleaze. I had to learn to accept that, or make changes.
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When I decided to quit going to parties, everyone was disappointed. They didn't have anybody to talk about anymore. As much as I enjoyed drinking, I was tired of getting drunk and being labeled. I wasn't what they said of me and it disturbed me that they would all stoop so low. Didn't they know, they to were at the same parties? What did that say about them?
Today it doesn't matter because today I don't drink. Sobriety means I never have to do anything that I wouldn't normally do. Those drunken behaviors are no longer who I am. If you want to put a label on me today; how about a recovered alcoholic, a blessed and loved child of God, and a victorious over comer.
God doesn't ask us to do something unless He feels we are capable of doing it. He isn't a mean spirited dictator. He is a loving God who cares about you more than you will ever know. It wasn't that God didn't want me having any fun, He just didn't want me to be the object of other people's ridicule and scorn. He thought higher of me than that.
And it wasn't that He wanted me bored and lonely. He just had better plans and people for me. So after I gave up the parties and the labels I discovered God was telling the truth. It has been nothing short of remarkable.
After my second divorce I invited a friend of mine to move into my apartment with me. She was married to a drug addict and grew increasingly tired of the craziness he brought into her life. She was a recovering alcoholic who had discovered Jesus. She was trying to make positive changes and his drug use was hindering her growth.
On her birthday I really wanted to make her feel special so I took her to my favorite dance club. Since the two of us had alcohol related problems, I don't quite know what I was thinking. Didn't I have a favorite restaurant? What was wrong with a nice dinner?
Within 15 minutes of walking into that night club I was passed out on the back couch and her birthday was ruined. It only took me three drinks to fall into a blackout, and into an evening I will never remember.
My friend asked some guys to drive us home in my car because she couldn't drive and I wasn't able to. So two men we didn't know drove us home to my house, came in and hung out for quite awhile. I don't remember any of it.
My intention was to celebrate my friend's birthday. But the alcohol turned the night into a celebration of immorality and shame. Alcohol ruins our best intentions. Alcohol perverts everything good. Alcohol is the enemy and is best left alone.
I wonder if God was pounding me on the shoulder that night trying to get my attention before I made my plans. He knew the outcome of the evening before it ever happened so I am sure if I was listening I might have heard Him telling me to do something else.
But I was so excited about going drinking and dancing if God was speaking to me, I wasn't listening. In fact, I probably had that speaker dial turned all the way down. I wanted no interference. You see it's not God's fault when we end up in bad situations. It is ours because we don't heed His warning.
God tells us things but we don't hear because we are to busy doing everything our way. I am not completely sad that the night ended the way it did. I don't think I ever went back to that night club. So if the outcome was good, I won't completely discount the night. But wouldn't it have been better to just not have gone again in the first place? And the saga continues.
It's hard for an alcoholic to admit when enough is enough. We know, we just don't want to admit it.

Car Reviews: BMW 3 Series

Made for quality, safety, comfort and class, the BMW 3 Series takes first place among all competition. With four and five out of five stars in performance, safety, reliability, and looks, should you be driving anything else?
0 to 60 in 6.3 seconds with a manual transmission puts the BMW 3 Series at the top of its game. Buyers willing to pay a little more, seats them in the finest luxury midsize car on the road. Compared to the Infiniti G37, BMW 3 series excels. BMW's most prestigious work of art is available as a coupe, sedan or hardtop convertible.
328i and 328 xi models with 200 pound-feet of torque and a 3.0-liter inline-six cylinder engine puts out 230 horsepower. With an automatic transmission along with a six-cylinder engine and the new lightweight magnesium/aluminum composite alloy engine block, the BMW 3 Series gets 19 mpg city and 28 mpg highway. Better yet, the 335i and 335xi models, with 300 horsepower, 300 pound-feet of torque go from 0 to 60 in 5.4 seconds trailing behind the Ferrari F430 by only two-tenths. MPG for city is 17 and 26 mpg for highway.
Both models come with four-wheel ventilated anti-lock disc brakes with Dynamic Brake Control. A new feature of BMW is the automatic drying of the brakes in wet weather, wet brake rotors don't stop as quick. Another great feature; when a foot is removed from the gas pedal the car automatically positions the discs a little closer to the pads preparing to stop.
Trunk space was increased by providing run-flat tires on the BMW 3 Series with no spare tire. Although most reviewers were satisfied with the standard suspension, sport tuned suspension is built in to the Coupe and Convertible editions. The upgraded suspension is optional for the Sedan.
Interior standard features include dual-zone automatic climate control, real walnut wood trim and standard leatherette. Premium package options include leather upholstery, auto dimming mirrors, Bluetooth connectivity, and eight way power seats with two driver memory settings.
Safety is rated high for BMW 3 Series models. Performing well in government crash tests this car has been deemed extremely safe. Using high strength steel, automatic seatbelt pretension, air bags inflated at three different speeds, and automatic locking retractors protect passengers in the event of a crash.
For those impatient BMW lovers get in line for 2009. Just when you thought all was invented, with a revised front and rear bumper, more sculpted hood and changed headlights, the BMW 3 Series comes out with enhanced performance and an entirely new sportier look.

Romeo Club: Retired Old Men Eating Out

On any given Friday morning at the Millie’s restaurant in Simi Valley you will find anywhere from eight to fifteen retired older men sitting around a table together having breakfast. The Romeo club is a club for older gentlemen who are retired. The name Romeo stands for ‘Retired Old Men Eating Out.’ The club offers retired gentlemen a place to gather or hang out once a week. The club is for men of similar age and similar circumstances yet sometimes very different interests.

A common complaint of men after retirement is the loss of socialization or other men to talk to. Men who retire are not used to hanging around the house talking to their wives. Although they admit spending time with their wives is not a bad way to spend their time, by retirement age their wives are already set in their ways and don’t have the time to sit around talking about sports and politics. Most men find this lifestyle of solitude to be anything but desirable so the Romeo club offers these men a safe place to go where good conversation, good food and good camaraderie unite them together.

Eighty year old Huey Long, a crossing guard for the Simi Valley school district states, “We all get together and solve all the problems of the world in one hour.” Due to the diversity of professions within the group Huey finds the subject matter of the conversations not only new and interesting but enlightening as well. He states, “About six of our members are retired school teachers. Each one is quite knowledgeable in his own field of study. I find it very interesting to listen to them speak of the subjects they know so well. It is a time of learning for me.”

Ed Aposhian says his time spent with the Romeo club fills a void he never knew existed. Having very few close friends Ed finds access to a new group of friends quite rewarding. His interest in people and the different viewpoints of others keeps him going back. He states, “I like the freedom I have in expressing my views and although they might not always be accepted by everyone they are never put down or criticized.”

The Romeo club is a relationship building opportunity. The spin off of a breakfast meeting offers not only a place for retired men to meet but an opportunity for friendships to develop. Some members put aside other times during the week for coffee or a matinee. With so much time on their hands, extracurricular events are extremely important. One group of men went to an air show. Another small group took a week long road trip up north; the skies the limit. This club offers valuable and necessary time for men to gather and talk about men things.

For those men who aren’t quite retirement age, the Romeo club offers ‘Retired Men In Training.’ Bottom line, all are welcome. Most of the men who participate in the Romeo club are well past the age of 70 but with some men in their 60’s and others in their 80’s there’s a little bit of something for everyone. And if you are ever in the neighborhood on a Friday morning stop in and say hello. Knowing this group of men they’ll probably invite you to sit down and have breakfast with them. You’ll be glad you did.

College Campus Revelation

Nothing happens by chance; not in God’s world. I enrolled in college after twenty five years. I heard that dental hygienists made an outrageous amount of money so I signed up for classes at my local college and off I went to embark on a new journey. For four years I sold on eBay tucked back in the corner of my den. Now it was time to mingle with the real world. Everything was progressing in the right direction. School proved to be a lot more enjoyable than I remembered. I was getting A’s in all my classes and I found myself looking forward to the education. But something happened when I entered my chemistry class. The subject was too difficult and after the first month I dropped out. I had no idea what I was going to do. Dental Hygiene required chemistry classes. Anatomy, physiology, and microbiology were also on that list so I had to change my plans and quickly. I found a psychology class with a late start date so I added that class to my schedule and turned myself around. I hadn’t any idea as to what I would do with a psychology degree but at least the subject interested me. It’s amazing how God works. I didn’t start out with a great desire to know about people but as soon as I started learning about the human mind my fascination of the subject grew to an astounding level. Forty three years old and I finally found my niche. It was during this time that I began having more pronounced problems with my eldest son. He drank a lot and was constantly getting into trouble. I had fought the battle of alcohol myself and won so I always held out hope for my son’s deliverance but lately he seemed a lot more suicidal and my heart ached constantly for him. I had a psychology class starting in a few days. I received the textbook early so I thought I’d get a head start on the reading. The class was on human learning and the chapter in the textbook began by describing a member of the author’s family who had a broken brain. The more I read the more of my son’s behavior I saw in her loved one. She was describing bipolar disorder. All of a sudden everything fell in place and began making sense. My son had a disease. There was a name for what was wrong with him and that meant there was also a solution. I thank God everyday that chemistry was too difficult. If I had understood it I might not have learned what is wrong with my son.

Reflections: Tales of a smoker.

While I was celebrating my sixth year without a cigarette I found myself thinking about the time many years ago when I experienced my first puff. I was thirteen in eighth grade. I remember sneaking up on the family ashtray when no one was home and taking the longest cigarette butts in the tray because they allowed me more puffs than the short ones. Of course most of them were too short to smoke but occasionally I would find a long one. I remember taking those crumpled cigarette leftovers and straightening them out as best I could. My fingers would be all black from the ash and the butt would taste like the ashtray itself but that never stopped me. I was a determined teenager. Adults were smoking these nasty things so why shouldn’t I. I am still confused at what the real attraction was. I would light the end of that horribly disgusting cigarette and as soon as I took a puff I would become violently ill. But that never stopped me. I always went back for more. I would sneak around the corner of the house in the backyard where no one could see me and I’d smoke those crumpled up cigarette butts until I was sick.
My friend Winette was a little braver than myself. She would steal whole cigarettes from her mother’s purse. She would say, “Come on Lacy, I have some cigarettes,” and off we’d go to the local elementary school. Climbing up on the classroom roof we’d light those cigarettes. Boy did we feel cool. I hate to admit I had fallen into the trap of appearances but I wanted every other kid in the neighborhood to see me sitting up on that school roof puffing away. I can’t say I was ever afraid of being seen by an adult. I guess my fear of getting caught hadn’t developed yet. Eighth graders aren’t known as the sharpest tools in the shed.
I never actually inhaled the smoke. Doing so caused me extreme nausea and dizziness but I could take into my mouth lots of smoke and blow beautifully formed smoke rings. It all seemed so innocent and fun but such a lot of work. Stealing cigarettes didn’t last long. We never got caught, we just became bored.
I didn’t smoke another cigarette until my freshman year at college. My good friend from high school, Moxie, enrolled in San Diego State University with me. We got an apartment together and became roommates. Moxie liked to sit and smoke cigarettes while she watched soap operas in the afternoon. It seemed harmless enough so I would join her. I only allowed myself two cigarettes each afternoon. But before long I was craving them in the morning before school and finding myself smoking them at night before bed. I didn’t understand the power of addiction and before I realized it I was smoking on a regular basis, something I had promised myself I would never do. And that was it. I was an official cigarette smoker and would be for the next twenty years.
I became a professional at quitting smoking. I knew every trick in the book to give up those nasty cancer sticks but my longest attempt lasted only about nine days. I always started out with the best intentions. I would crumple up my pack of cigarettes and drown them under water. I did that at least once a week. But more times than not, within a few hours, I would dig those broken and wet cigarettes out of the trash and dry them in the oven. I alternated from quitting smoking and swearing I would take those cigarettes with me to the grave. Quitting was so difficult, after each failed attempt, I would vow to never quit smoking again. But smoking in today’s day and age isn’t the same as it was back in the 1940’s when everyone smoked. The kids were being taught in school that I was going to die because I smoked. That created a whole lot of unnecessary quilt within me and fear within them. I tried to explain, “Yes the cigarettes might eventually kill me someday, but not today.” My kids didn’t understand matters of death and dying. I actually thought it was cruel to tell my kids that their smoking mother wasn’t going to live very long. I felt that was deceptive and manipulating. And it only made it harder for me to enjoy my cigarettes.
The day I actually quit smoking wasn’t much different than any other day. I had been to a meeting the night before and a friend inquired, “Do you enjoy your cigarettes?” I replied, “I usually do, not always, but I will never quit smoking because it is too hard.” He shared with me that he had quit and it was the greatest decision he ever made. He talked about having more time in his day and having more air. He said it felt amazing walking up a flight of stairs without running out of breath. He mentioned the freedom he had in the morning to take quiet walks and spend time with God. My mornings consisted of four or five cigarettes and a pot of coffee. I listened to him for awhile and I appreciated what he said. Instead of telling me all the dreadful consequences of cigarette smoking he shared with me all the good that came from quitting. I liked that approach. I went home and that night I had a dream that I quit smoking. When I woke up the next morning I quit. I vowed, “I will never smoke again.” Of course I had no idea it would be the first day of the next six years without a cigarette but I actually quit that day and haven’t smoked since. When a day would come that went all wrong and everything within me cried out for a cigarette I’d call nicotine anonymous and talk to someone who knew exactly what I was going through. Talking to an ex smoker is the one thing that helped me the most.
I remember calling my mom on the phone every time I’d decide to quit. “Hey, mom, guess what? I haven’t had a cigarette all day.” She was always so proud of me. And then I would get all upset over some irrational nothing and swear the only relief to my problem was a cigarette. Then I’d call my mom again, “Guess what mom? I had a cigarette.” She would say the same thing to me every time, “Never quit quitting. One of these times it will be the last time.” And she was right. Not long ago I ran into my old college roommate and I told her all about that nasty habit she got me started on. She replied she hadn’t had a cigarette since college. “Good for you,” I said. And I meant it.