Quitting Smoking

The success rate for those trying to quit a bad habit is low. The enemy attacks our minds and bodies with such force we fail before we ever begin. He encourages filthy habits to fester within us. And he is good at using temptation to lure us back again.
Some addictions are mental and some are physical, but regardless, the withdrawal symptoms are tremendous. I have quit smoking many times. After a couple of days clean I always start smoking again.
I am miserable without my Nicotine. I instigate fights. I argue. I cry. I can't function. All because my body is crying out for the substance it craves. If I could go back in time I would never have started smoking in the first place. I tell teenagers, "The easiest way to quit, is to never start."
I'm not saying that bad habits can't be broken. I am saying that without God's help it is very difficult. Why do you think the twelve step programs are based on a power greater than we are? Left relying on our own power we are failures, to weak to succeed.
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Abstinence has to come from within. It is an inside job that comes from God's Spirit. If you face a battle of self will, and the lack of self control, turn it over to God. He wants to and will deliver you.
When I finally quit smoking for the very last time I was told to give myself permission to feel the feelings. Many times I tried to quit but I could not stand myself. I was moody and nasty and people couldn't stand to be around me.
I would convince myself that smoking was the easier softer way and I would be back to smoking again in days. I think the longest I went without a cigarette was 9 days. And then one day I knew it was time so I called nicotine anonymous and they walked me through the first two months.
They told me it was all right to have mood swings and if the people in my life loved me they would tolerate me through them. Well, with great endurance they did, and I quit. I haven't had a cigarette since and I don't want one.
Changes are hard. I don't like change. I like my world to go the same way every day. I have my comfort zone and I don't want any interference. But sometimes God has different plans. He can see into the future and he knows what's best for me. So I pray and ask Him to help me face the changes with confidence and courage.
I run on a schedule. I plan my life accordingly. I am not spontaneous. It doesn't matter what my schedule is as long as it is planned. This drives my family crazy. But I tell them, just give me at least a days notice and I will schedule it in. What is so difficult about that?
I remember when I quit smoking. I did not know what to do with myself. It seemed I always had a cigarette in my hand and now I didn't. It took me months to get over that habit. I think the change in my schedule was harder than the nicotine withdrawal.
Giving up alcohol was another big change. A friend told me to picture myself standing on the edge of a cliff with nowhere to go. My only option available was to wait on God. So I waited. And God provided comfort and solutions for every dilemma I faced.
I often wonder how people go through change and difficult times in life without God. I absolutely think I'd fall apart if God were not by my side. The circumstances would be completely unbearable. But God gives me peace and removes the fear. And He tells me everything is going to be all right.
One of the hardest changes I have gone through has been the loss of my father. Nothing could have prepared me for that change. Everything in my life changed when my father passed away. But, by the grace of God I have survived. Life is different. But I have adjusted. And the good thing is, I always do.
Using cigarette smoking as an example, I remember swearing I would take those cigarettes with me to the grave. I loved smoking and I was never going to quit. But having been a non smoker now for quite a few years I thank God everyday for taking the desire away from me. We kick and scream to avoid change even when it turns out to be the best thing that ever could have happened to us.

Women over 40

The Modern Woman has a world full of opportunities available to her. No longer is 40 over the hill; 40 is just the beginning. No longer is college reserved for the young, or a new career out of the question. New doors are opening everyday for women of all ages and the opportunities are endless.
A message to the Women of today:Don’t let anyone or anything hinder you from realizing your potential. Dream big and then go out and make that dream happen. Don’t let a poor self image keep you from obtaining your goals. Change the way you think about yourself. Fight for your life; you are worth it. And be patient with yourself. Sometimes change takes time; one day at a time. Take each day and conquer a particular goal; take one step each day towards the desire of your heart, and if you continue going forward, never giving up, eventually you will arrive; and the dream will become your reality.

Sticks and Stones Can Break My Bones and Words Hurt Too!

Emotional pain is hard to get rid of especially when you are emotionally weak. I have been called names that I wouldn't repeat to my worst enemy. I have been criticized and put down. I have been slandered and ridiculed.
I discovered that if I could transfer the emotional pain I was feeling to my body then my heart wouldn't hurt so bad. So I began hurting myself. I scratched my arms with my fingernails; I beat my head with my fists. I have even experienced such moments of insanity when I tore up my face like a desperate animal.
Self abuse is a lot like alcohol. They both numbed the pain. When my body was hurting, I couldn't feel the pain in my heart as intensely. The focus of my pain switched from one I could not control, to one I was responsible for. I was in control of self inflicted pain.
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I have since learned that nobody has the right to hurt me with words. I realize people can be hurtful. But more often than not it is because they are hurting also. It is not always about me. Sometimes it is about them and If I practice compassion I would be less offended.
God has given me an imaginary shield. It blocks the fiery darts of attack and the words don't penetrate my heart like they used to. I feel sorry for people who hurt others with their words. Only a monster could spit out such slander with no regret.
The Bible tells us; "Out of the abundance of the heart, a man speaks." If our hearts are not right, then our words will not be right either.
Be careful what you say. God spoke the world into existence. We give more power to the devil by the words of our mouths than in any other way. Let the words of your mouth be holy and acceptable, pleasing unto God. Quit speaking death and destruction over your circumstances and others. Start speaking life.
For example; let us say you get sober and you are very happy about it but you share with your friend how you don't think you will be able to stay sober long. That is speaking destruction over your life. If that is the way you truly feel than you might as well drink again. Learn to think positive and before long you'll be speaking it too.
The way I see it God made us all exactly how he wanted us to be. He molded us together into unique individuals from the time we were conceived. When we criticize one of God's children we are telling God we don't approve of his handiwork. But I didn't always understand this concept.
My sister was born with a long, ski slope nose. Looking back, it was actually cute and suited her. But she endured years of teasing and name calling. Children called her Pinnochio and asked if they could go skiing on her nose.
By the time she graduated from high school she had no self esteem, a weight problem and no idea how beautiful she really was. She quickly got a nose job to change the one thing she believed had gotten in the way of her happiness.
But people are mean. I was mean. I told my sister that her new nose didn't look right on her face. I told her it was better long than wrong. Luckily my sister didn't really care what I thought. She was quite happy with her new appearance and had become a wonderful person living a really neat life.
I have learned that people who have low self esteem put other people down. I suppose maybe that is why I felt the need to criticize my sister. Confidence in my self was never a strong point. In fact, I thought very little of myself for a very long time.
Examine yourself before you put others under a magnifying glass. Chances are, it is you with the problem.
Hiding behind a beer or a cigarette gave me false power. They were my security blanket for a poor self image. I remember drinking beer and smoking cigarettes and feeling stronger and more powerful than anyone. But it was only a front.
Deep inside I was weak and timid and deathly afraid of everyone. Today I still feel timid at times but I refuse to find liquid courage in a bottle. I am who I am and I have learned to be happy with that.