Aging Gracefully

I remember growing up and thinking 50 was old. I guess everyone seemed old when I was a child. Now that I am 45, there is nothing old about me. Sure, I have a few more aches and pains than I had at age 20, but I feel good. I get up early every morning and walk my treadmill for thirty minutes. I try to eat right during the day so I can have chocolate for dessert at night. I work for the school district with kids so I am forced into youth related activities. Actually, I like my age and I would not trade it down for anything. Age is in the eye of the beholder. I prefer to see the aging process as an exciting adventure. Who knows what God has in store for my future? Only when I get older will I see His plans unfold.
Although God did not design old age from the beginning, He uses old age for our good purpose. As we age we grow more dependent on Him. As our bodies grow older we are forced to slow down. Old age is an optimum time to spend studying God’s Word, spending time in prayer or participating in social groups with other people of the same age. During middle age life is filled to capacity with work, family, chores, etc. There is little time to sit back and relax. Old age offers this luxury.
God’s best was eternity in the garden. His goal was to create perfect people who would love Him forever. But man failed. God’s plan was thwarted. Although His initial life span was forever, after the fall, He shortened lives. The ultimate deterioration of man required man to die younger. The effects of old age could not endure the length of life God originally planned. But that is when the message of salvation becomes so important. People afraid of dying need to hear about eternal life in heaven. Hopefully by old age, most people will know the Lord, but for those who don't, the message of heaven brings hope.
I attend a church of about sixty members. Most are over the age of 70. It has been a pleasure spending time with people who are the same ages and older than my parents. It is amazing how age becomes less of an issue the older we get. The couples we go to lunch with could be our grandparents. These people are vibrant, full of life, love the Lord, and as far as I can tell, never slow down. A few of the older men are crossing guards. After retirement they got jobs. They also attend weekly, retired men, breakfast meetings. They say they enjoy the fellowship with other retirees.
I am learning a lot from these elderly people about quality of life after retirement. I have yet to see a retired person lay down to die. Of course it would be different for those who do not know the Lord. Without a heavenly hope one could surely fear frailty. As a biblical counselor I would discuss Abraham and Moses and show the counselee how much they accomplished well into their old age. The Bible has quite a few good examples of average people doing extraordinary things in later life.
Accepting the aging process is vital to happiness. I often wonder just how old I will look at 60. My mom looks great for her age. She is 66. Yet she complains all the time about her neck and her eyes. I think her concern is because my dad passed away and she is dating again. I see a lot of older people growing old gracefully. I stare at them often. I find it fascinating that they can age like they do, in and around the face, and yet never seem to care. And if they do, they sure do not let on. I hope I too am free from vanity when I am old.
Lately there are many movie stars who look terrible because they could not allow themselves to age. It is sad to see older people trying to look young again. Plastic surgery is not a cure-all. Maybe the skin can be pulled and tightened, but the result is not always pretty. Some of these stars do not even look the same. I think it is a shame there is so much self-importance in people. Like I said, I hope I can humbly accept the aging process. Human nature wants to look good for as long as possible. I understand that. At 45 I thank God I look as good as I do. I just pray that people would focus more on the inside than the outside. Peace and joy come from a Spirit filled heart not a wrinkle-less face.
Nowadays seniors are doing more, longer. I see a lot of older people walking, and shopping, and just out and about. No longer is age 50 old. Age 70 is not even old. Recently at our church makeover, it was the 70 year olds that were tearing down drywall and sweeping. It was the 80 year olds wheeling the wheelbarrows full of debris to the trash containers. A few older men in my church took a two week drive up the coast. Three 80 year old men took a road trip and all three came back looking good as new. Of course their wives must have worried about them, we young folk did, but that is the amazing reality of the old lately, they do not just curl up on the sofa and die.
Growing old with financial security requires planning. When my father unexpectedly died at age 66 my mom was devastated. Not only did she lose her husband of 42 years, she lost her provider. My mom was a stay at home mom, and even after all four of her children left the house, she remained a housekeeper. My father was not prepared to die. He did not have any savings; his life insurance only covered the credit card debt. Lucky for my mom, her house was paid for. I would counsel all couples to begin financial preparations early. Why wait until old age creeps in and there isn't enough money to enjoy retirement? Or even enough money to live? Nobody expects a tragedy, but preparation, just in case, is highly advised.
My grandma, age 88, lives in New Mexico. We live in California. My mom lives alone in a three bedroom house. She has asked my grandma many times to come live with her. My grandma says she will never live with her kids. She has a small senior home with low rent. She says she would come to California and live in her own place, but California is too expensive. My mom has shared on several occasions she will never live with her kids. Instead of selling her home and downsizing, she says she must keep the equity locked into the house in case something ever happens to her. She says she never wants to be a financial burden on us. Of course my siblings and I think she is ridiculous; my grandma too. We feel family should be close to help each other.
Assisted living centers are springing up everywhere. For those who can afford the luxury, they are a perfect alternative to living on ones own, but most seniors cannot afford assisted living and must revert to lower grade homes. For the elderly who refuse to live with family or for those who have no family, choices of quality care are few. I personally would rather have my mom move in with me than to have her in some of the lower rated homes. Hopefully she will live a long, healthy life, never needing any outside help. We can only hope. As for my grandma, my mom worries about her, living so far away; if something should happen, her family would not be near enough to help.
If parents get to senile to make quality decisions on their own, children can make decisions for them. It is a good idea to sit down and discuss situations while parents and children can effectively communicate. The family can lay out ground rules for different scenarios. No one can predict the future health of any person. Some very healthy young people have died abruptly from heart attacks. Nothing should be discounted as a possibility. Every situation and possible solution must be discussed. It is one thing for a stubborn parent to refuse a room in a child’s home; it is another when a parent with Alzheimer’s has to move in. If proper planning is accomplished, there should be no surprises.
Getting old is a reality for everyone. No one can escape the aging process. What happens during old age is entirely up to the individual. Having a good perception makes a big difference. Planning and preparing financially, looking into possible housing needs, discussing the future with children, are all beneficial and can help make the aging process not only comfortable, but pleasant as well. Why waste what could be the most enjoyable years of one’s life? Everyone gets old, plan on it.