Alcohol: When Enough is Enough

God knew what I needed before I was ever created. Although He had better ideas of what he wanted for me, He knew I would fall and need His help. So He inspired the men of old to prepare a book called the Bible, showing me the provision of God, and His ability to deliver me from all my troubles.
Unfortunately I chose a different path. One in which I thought I'd have more fun. I allowed the lies and deceptions of the enemy and the world to crowd out what was right. And I suffered the consequences of my mistakes.
Going to parties and getting drunk was common for me. In high school I developed the nickname sleazy. Not because I was being taken advantage of, but because passing out all over people's houses and hanging on guys I didn't know set up a rather poor picture of me. The image they saw of me was exactly what I portrayed, a sleaze. I had to learn to accept that, or make changes.
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When I decided to quit going to parties, everyone was disappointed. They didn't have anybody to talk about anymore. As much as I enjoyed drinking, I was tired of getting drunk and being labeled. I wasn't what they said of me and it disturbed me that they would all stoop so low. Didn't they know, they to were at the same parties? What did that say about them?
Today it doesn't matter because today I don't drink. Sobriety means I never have to do anything that I wouldn't normally do. Those drunken behaviors are no longer who I am. If you want to put a label on me today; how about a recovered alcoholic, a blessed and loved child of God, and a victorious over comer.
God doesn't ask us to do something unless He feels we are capable of doing it. He isn't a mean spirited dictator. He is a loving God who cares about you more than you will ever know. It wasn't that God didn't want me having any fun, He just didn't want me to be the object of other people's ridicule and scorn. He thought higher of me than that.
And it wasn't that He wanted me bored and lonely. He just had better plans and people for me. So after I gave up the parties and the labels I discovered God was telling the truth. It has been nothing short of remarkable.
After my second divorce I invited a friend of mine to move into my apartment with me. She was married to a drug addict and grew increasingly tired of the craziness he brought into her life. She was a recovering alcoholic who had discovered Jesus. She was trying to make positive changes and his drug use was hindering her growth.
On her birthday I really wanted to make her feel special so I took her to my favorite dance club. Since the two of us had alcohol related problems, I don't quite know what I was thinking. Didn't I have a favorite restaurant? What was wrong with a nice dinner?
Within 15 minutes of walking into that night club I was passed out on the back couch and her birthday was ruined. It only took me three drinks to fall into a blackout, and into an evening I will never remember.
My friend asked some guys to drive us home in my car because she couldn't drive and I wasn't able to. So two men we didn't know drove us home to my house, came in and hung out for quite awhile. I don't remember any of it.
My intention was to celebrate my friend's birthday. But the alcohol turned the night into a celebration of immorality and shame. Alcohol ruins our best intentions. Alcohol perverts everything good. Alcohol is the enemy and is best left alone.
I wonder if God was pounding me on the shoulder that night trying to get my attention before I made my plans. He knew the outcome of the evening before it ever happened so I am sure if I was listening I might have heard Him telling me to do something else.
But I was so excited about going drinking and dancing if God was speaking to me, I wasn't listening. In fact, I probably had that speaker dial turned all the way down. I wanted no interference. You see it's not God's fault when we end up in bad situations. It is ours because we don't heed His warning.
God tells us things but we don't hear because we are to busy doing everything our way. I am not completely sad that the night ended the way it did. I don't think I ever went back to that night club. So if the outcome was good, I won't completely discount the night. But wouldn't it have been better to just not have gone again in the first place? And the saga continues.
It's hard for an alcoholic to admit when enough is enough. We know, we just don't want to admit it.